Atlas – brought home two years ago!

It was two years ago that Tommy brought home this beautiful little puppy. My arms worked well enough and he was small enough that I could hold him. Whenever I held them he would always fall asleep. He is always been a very good dog. Now he weighs about 90 pounds but I will always see him as he looks in these photos. 20 pounds of cuddle!

Facebook link to a tribute headstone.

http://sfglobe.com/2016/08/24/dad-creates-gravestone-that-has-everyone-talking-after-son-with-brain-damage-dies/?src=fbfan_55206&t=fbsfg

I saw a link to this article along with a photo of the boy with a severe disability that passed away when he was 10. It is a beautiful testimony to his son and it got me thinking about my own disability.
A few years ago a man from church used to visit me and he would often point to my chair and remind me that when I get home to Heaven I will be able to stand. Strangely though that was never my number one thought about getting to heaven. I came to the Lord when I was 25. My singing voice is always been terrible. Really terrible. My number one upgrade in heaven would be that I can sing praises to Jesus and my voice would be fantastic.
Now that I'm disabled you would think it would be that I would be able to stand or move by arms again but it is still my number one thing that I would be able to sing! I have always loved to sing but I'm so far from being able to it is pathetic.
Until that day, my number one desire is that I keep the use of my right arm and hand so that I can operate my iPad or PC enough to be functional. I stretch my right shoulder and arm every morning and night but I can tell I'm losing range of motion in my arm and hand. I keep hoping my MS stopped short of making me totally useless. Maybe you can see from this post I definitely have too much time to think.
I just thought this tribute headstone was fantastic.

A great Friday night out!

Friday night the weather was very good for me. Mid-70s and cloudy. We went down to the NewBo in Cedar Rapids Iowa. The group that played was called Cedar Valley Cobras. They were in a eclectic mix of string instruments. Some base stop listening's strange mix that included a base, acoustic guitars and mandolin. One lady at a bluegrass background and that you guys had rock backgrounds. It was pretty enjoyable.
At the table next to us was a young chocolate lab. It had a service dog vest on and when my wife went over to see it she knew she couldn't pet the service dog. The dog was attended by a young girl and a guy about the same age. We can tell from something she did she was training at and had it around people do get it used to that environment. It was a gorgeous dog and we wanted to meet it very badly.
When the music was almost over she brought the dog over to me us. My wife noticed the service dog vest was off of it that meant the dog got to be a dog and we got to meet it. It was a one-year-old lab and she got it to jump up with this paws on my arm rest as I got kisses from the dog. For some reason dogs like to lick my face. It probably because I can't move my arms to stop them. I started laughing but it did not stick its tongue in my mouth. I was glad of that. We found out that the girl was training it to be a service dog, probably for someone with PTSD. She told us a lot about its training. It had at least a year more with her. It could turn on light switches, take laundry out of the dryer and other useful things. She had a big pouch under have that had dog food in it and when he made eye contact with her she would give him a piece. She fed him 6 cups a day in that manner. It was very interesting to learn about service dog training.
All in all it was a great night out with my wife, one of her sisters and our brother-in-law. I wish we had a picture of the dog but we forgot to get one.

Macy lets me use her footstool!

This photo is from two years ago. It showed up on Facebook today. Two years ago I can still move my right leg and rested on the footstool. As you can see it is Macy's footstool. She let me use it as long as I didn't take up too much room. It's so nice when your cat let you use your own furniture! Course now I can move either of my legs in that manner. This photo is sort of bittersweet because it reminds me how fast this disease has progressed but I have so many good memories it's hard to be too sad. My wife used to be jealous of the cat and told her sisters that I love the cat more than her. Of course that's not true but this cat is pretty special.

24 hours without Atlas!

It's been over 24 hours since Atlas left. I knew he was leaving so I don't think I'm really torn up about it but I sure don't feel like posting. I have been wondering though how I have survived without Barkey Mc Barkerson. There been HVAC service trucks turning around in our drive. There have been people visiting the retired lady across the street. There has been the mailman and other people walking by. So far none of them have come in to do me harm even though Atlas is not here to bark at them and chase them away.
If we thought the cat would miss him we were wrong. I do think there was progress made in the six weeks he was here. Her attitude toward him used to be that he was Perro Diablo. Now he is just a big Galoot who either steps on her or flopped down on top of her without even seeing her. Atlas is been around her for almost 2 years off and on. Maybe another two years she will be a cuddle buddy with him, right!

Doggone

Tom left this morning around 10 AM with Atlas. About 6:30 AM Atlas got up on the bed with me and laid there even though Janette was still here for a while. I think he wanted me to know that he loves me.

After Tom got me up Atlas alternately jumped around excited because he was with Tommy and pouted on the floor because he knew he was leaving Grammy and grandpa's house. I'm sure we will see him because Tom visits as often as he can. He sure is a lovable dog!

Last full day will of Atlas – Boo-Hoo

Today is the last full day we get to enjoy this beautiful dog/puppy. I think he is pouting because he knows Tommy is going to take them away soon. We will miss him a bunch but he will be back in a few weeks.
We thought Macy might miss him but Tom took them over to a friends house the other night. She couldn't have cared less. She strutted around like the queen of the castle. Sometimes she acts like a princess and sometimes the Queen but she always acts like royalty!

The Life and Times of Phil –Difficulty

Recently I had posted a few posts on "In Memoriam". The most significant person who I lost too early in life was my mother. I also it started a series of my history but left off or my life went after my mother passed away.

I have been wanting to proceed on this series but I find it is been way more difficult than I ever imagined. I have thought about it and thought about it and thought about it. It is very painful and I find I'm still upset and angry about things that happened outside my control over 40 years ago. I still mean to post more on this series and I'm getting it squared away in my head. I have to admit the years from 11 years old till 18 are particularly difficult.

I’m going to try to start over and Cover some of the same ground over again. I hope to push past the top parts and represent the situation fairly and is unbiased as I can be. Not sure how soon you will be but I'm hoping to start this week yet.

Great Saturday on the Screen Porch

Yesterday was a fantastic day of weather for August it was in the low 70s so I got to go out onto the screen porch. Why was out there Macy came out climbed in my lap. Atlas joined us and laid on the floor when he realized I couldn't take them out and throw the ball for him.
I tried not to fall asleep because I'd gotten up late and was afraid if I took a nap I wouldn't be able asleep at night. I fought the urge to sleep most of the afternoon but then Macy turned around and laid on top of my right hand. For some reason when she sleeps it in one of my hands it makes me fall asleep. It must be her psychic powers!
My wife woke me up so that I didn't sleep too long and everything was fine. I ended up being out there for four hours. My son Tom took this picture. I sure enjoy the screen porch. Keeps the gnats out.
I would have posted this earlier today but is another gorgeous day in the mid-70s and I fell asleep watching the men's basketball of the Olympics. When I woke up I went out on the porch and was enjoying the weather until now. Thought I should head back in and try to get something done while it's still quiet here.

Atlas and Macy after weeks together!

This may be the last post during Atlas's stay with us. Tom comes tomorrow and will say the weekend so we are no longer his mama and papa. It is taken 5 to 6 weeks but now Macy tolerates him a lot better. He has the best spot on the couch and she like to sit on the end. She barely has that now and left him sniffer once in a while. I don't think they will ever become tiles like we hoped. We tell her that he's nice and warm and cuddly but she just ignores us. Imagine that, I can't ignoring you.
Now I will probably have to go back to posting boring things about myself. Maybe some all my life will get interesting but it doesn't seem that way.

Atlas – our last week with him!

We have had a wonderful visit from Atlas for over a month now. Tom will come and get him this week since his training of cadets is over. This is Atlas in the morning helping get me up out of bed. He loves to have the covers thrown over him. We call them taco dog. I'm already starting to have withdrawal pains thinking of life without him. He's pretty much the perfect dog but he is Tom's dog so will just deal with the void best we can. Maybe the kitty will step up her game!

A great night out with Atlas!

Last night we went to a function at NewBo called Barks and Brew. It was for a local shelter for pets. They had music, beer and food all day. It started early afternoon but because of the heat we didn't go until around 5 PM. We took Atlas with us and there were a lot of dogs there.
I may be partial but Atlas was the Belle of the Ball. So many people came over to pet him and hug him. He is such a friendly dog. He met some other dogs also. There is a six-month-old great Dane that drug is owner over so we can meet Atlas. Where for the great Dane wanted to go he pretty much went. Near us there were some people who had a Labrador and boxer mix. Is owner seem to love Atlas and came over and hugged him.
There were so many dogs it would be impossible to mention them all. They ranged from Chihuahua to Pyrenes. Wherever Atlas went he made friends. Most of the time he had a ball in his mouth and a lot of people wanted to play ball with him. Toward the end of the evening my wife took them over to an open area and there was a group of people there with dogs. Many of them took turns throwing the ball and Atlas would run and to get it. They wore him out and he was tired when he came home.
It was a pretty neat function but it could've been run a little better. We could've gotten a little more for our tickets then we got which was almost nothing. Since we got there late we missed out on some of the beer tasting but we had a great time. When we were in the shade it was very comfortable for me and I enjoyed it immensely. Just sitting there with the breeze it was perfect weather. So much different than the day before where the humidity was awful.

Thursday – Kind of Blah

It's Thursday morning and I'm feeling kind of brain foggy. I went to sleep fairly early last night but that didn't seem to help. It was probably Macy the cats fault. I was awoken at 830 by somebody tapping me on the hand and there she was. She wanted scratched. I scratch your ears for a while and then she wanted to do play biting instead. I used to be able to do that but could no longer get my hand out so I don't get to play that with her anymore. She doesn't really bite but her fangs are sharp and she has up scratching my arm or hand. Not really a big deal except a bleed on stuff and make a mess. I went back to sleep afterwards and woke up feeling out of it. So instead of posting something significant today I watched Nicole A the newscaster on Facebook.

National book reading day

I read on Facebook that today is national book reading day. I'm trusting Facebook that that's true but I never know for sure. I love books and have always loved books. I used to be a voracious reader and tell I had a family and then other things got in the way. Now that I am disabled I read e-books on my iPad and/or my PC. I read a lot.
I really miss the tactile feeling of an actual paper book. E-books are great, don't get me wrong but there's nothing that replaces the feeling of the pages and turning them to see what is next in the book. I especially miss reading my printed Bible. The pages are so thin they are actually works of art to me. I would probably pass on my main Bible but I read it so much some of the pages are coming out. Mainly the Gospel of John.
So happy book reading day to you too!

Jason da Silva and Primary Progressive MS

One person I follow on Facebook is named Jason da Silva. He produced a public television program called "When I Walk". He has the same type of MS I do and his progress has been similar to mine and quite fast compared to what others with our type have. It is even more heartbreaking because he is much younger than me. He lives in New York and that does present problems that I don't have. I have a van with the ramp my wife can drive me everywhere she needs to. He has to take public transportation.
Today he had a post talking about some of his latest difficulties. He is lost the use of his arms and his fingers on both hands. He brought up one thing that drives them insane is he can no longer scratch when his head itches. I totally understand this. The itching drive me crazy sometimes. I need someone else's scratch pretty much anywhere I itch. I take two Benadryl before bed and that really helps with the itching at night. I don't take them during the day because I think they make me drowsy. He also brought up other things about hygiene and I totally understand. His path is documented to quite a number of videos and of course he is an inspiration to many as well as myself.

Dog Park – Saturday visit

We took Atlas will do the dog park again last Saturday. It was really different this time because Atlas was so focused on his ball he wouldn't socialize with the other dogs. When he got tired he came in late underneath my footplate. As you can see there is a different out there in this photo. This dog was a Frisbee catcher in the was really good. On the other dogs would chase him after he caught the Frisbee and he would run and run and run to keep it away. He got really tired and came over and lays in my footplate. It was pretty cute. Later another dog came in late under my footplate and rolled over on his back so Matt could scratch his tummy. I never realize that my footplate was a dog magnet. It was pretty cute though.

In this photo it looks like Atlas is the leader of the pack. He really wasn't, he was the only one obsessed with getting the ball. The other dog just trotted along with him. Nobody else wanted the ball and even if they did he was so fast no one else would be able to get to it.

I Don't Have It so Bad

The other day I made a post about losing the use of my right hand. As you know my right and left legs quit working a long time ago and my left hand is most often curled up in a ball and almost unusable. I didn't want you to think how bad this is but I just wanted to make people aware because I know so many care about me but cannot keep up with my condition.

For the most part I have many things to be thankful for. My wife has been fantastic and I could not have done this without her. My son Matt comes over almost every day to help with me and the cat. Our son Tom is stationed in storm Lake and comes to visit as often as he can with his dog Atlas. Our oldest son Dan, helps a lot when he can visit. He is stationed on the West Coast so it is not easy for him to get home but when he is here he does a lot of work for us.

We have been watching Tom's dog Atlas for over a month while he is at Fort Knox training cadets. Yesterday was Friday and since my wife works summer hours she doesn't come home till after 10 so I was in bed late. About 9:45 AM Atlas was barking at something in the living room. It doesn't take much, anybody walking by and he barks. I yelled at him from the bedroom. He must've felt very guilty because he came in jumped up on the bed, and flopped his head down on my chest. He often comes in the bed with me but sleeps with this head by my feet. He must've needed some special attention for him plop his head down like that. He stayed like that for 20 minutes until my wife came home. When she went to get me out of bed I was still smiling about the dog. She asked if I was in a good mood because I rarely ever smile when getting up out of bed. I told her I was still chuckling about the dog.

Friday, the same day I was able to go out on the screen porch since the weather was so nice. The cat loves it out there and she joined me. She falls asleep on my left hand and I have my right hand on her back. Somehow she psychically makes me go to sleep and I woke up an hour and a half later. That cat is an evil genius!

Later that night we went down to the NewBo market for music. We were joined by my wife's sister's, her mom and one brother-in-law. We had a great night of friendship, good food and tasty beer.

As they say "Count your blessings". If I do that I find I have many to be thankful for. I try not to feel sorry for myself and with the Lord's help most of the time I'm able to live like that. Thank you all for your thoughts and prayers.

Rigged Election – you gotta be kidding me!

Donald Trump is now claiming the election for president is rigged. Of course this is impossible. The selection of a candidate by a party can be rigged, but there's no way to rig the general election. I think he is just posturing so that when he loses he has someone other to blame because he hates losers! All he has done is alienate everyone except Caucasians that like handguns.

He burned his bridges with many of the other Republicans with his insults and insane insinuations. He insinuated Ted Cruz had a father who helped Lee Harvey Oswald. There is literally no evidence of that except for an article he read in the National Enquirer. He says the New York Times is not believable. He said that the Des Moines register was a third rate publication. But somehow the National Enquirer is a serious news source for this lunatic. Even after his nomination he still insults Ted Cruz, Jeb Bush and Kasich. He has alienated all these people who could help him by saying he doesn't need them.

He insulted McCain and every other POW in the world by saying McCain was not a hero because he got caught. What was Donald Trump suggesting? When McCain went down in enemy territory was he supposed to eat a bullet? Was he supposed to somehow become Rambo? Donald Trump probably saw that movie and thought all POWs should be like Rambo. Yeah, just like you Donald.

He also insulted every family that has lost a loved one in war. Of course he never backs down from any of these or apologizes. He is so thin-skinned he keeps on harping on all these subjects.

Now he says women who are harassed in the workplace should quit their jobs and find a different place to work. Yeah that's right Donald run away from the problem, that's what they should do. You only place women can work according the you is for Ivanka,,

So now after alienating so many groups of people, he's claiming the election is rigged. I have no words to describe this behavior. It's nothing I've ever seen in my entire life.  

Status update – MS

Well I think it's official now. I am losing the use of my right arm and hand. Every day it becomes more difficult to run my iPad or my PC. I had hoped the practical use of my right hand would continue. I guess hope and denial have not worked. Now I'm praying that I can figure out how to keep going on my blog. I will keep it up for far as I can but eventually I'm afraid it will just stop working.
I have to say voice recognition like Dragon NaturallySpeaking or Siri are helpful but overall very disappointing. Siri is a moron. Dragon helps three do some things like this post I still have to use the mouse pad and that is where I'm afraid my right hand is going to fail sometime in the near future. So I'm glad for what it does but I wish you could do more. I have updated to the current version but that has not really made much difference. A little bit but not a lot. Oh well I'll muddle through some How.

Macy – Health Report

Macy went to the vet last Friday. Everything checked out good. This photo is from four years ago and she's looking out the window of our new house. When we got her she weighed over 12 pounds. Friday she weighed in at 10.5 pounds. She is little more active here than she was at the humane shelter or our other house. We think Atlas has helped her lose weight. Sometimes he chases her. Sometimes she teases him and that runs and hides. All in all she's a pretty fit cat. Based on what her profile said from the shelter she is somewhere between nine and 10 years old now.

Muslim Population – Cedar Rapids Iowa

The subject of Muslims is a big thing in the news lately. One candidate for president is proposing a halt to any new immigration of Muslims. He is also proposing a registry of those who live in the US. This is made me think about this subject a lot I started thinking about my experience with the Muslim religion and Muslim people.

As many of you know I live in Cedar Rapids Iowa. Cedar Rapids is home to the oldest mosque west of the Mississippi. That means Cedar Rapids's has had a Muslim population for very long time. Longer than I've been alive. I started thinking the other day about violence and these people. I can't say I've known very many Muslims but for my entire life there is never been one case of Muslim violence in this town. The only times I've seen this subject in the news is when someone spray-painted obscenities and racial insults on the mosque. Same thing with a man who was trying to update a flood house on the northwest side. People vandalize this property.

From my point of view there is never been a Muslim terrorist attack or anything racially motivated that would make me fear this people. If Sharia law were to be implemented wouldn't Cedar Rapids be one of the first places it was fought for?

According to the latest political rhetoric I'm supposed to be afraid. I am not. I have met two Muslims and work with them in the past. Both were very kind and gentle people. I'm not seeing either of them practicing violence for any reason. So if this political rhetoric was true shouldn't there be an outbreak of violence in Cedar Rapids due to its long time Muslim population? I don't see this so I think it's a bunch of malarkey

 I do agree background checks are in order before people can immigrate. This does not mean a ban or registration but just some common sense. I think part of it is the immigration service is terribly underfunded. They need more resources and it has been like this for decades. Right now the Republicans control the Senate, both houses. Don't they establish funding? Shouldn't they have already dealt with this issue? It's important to remember the US is a nation of immigrants. I am the grandson of four separate immigrants. If my great-grandparents or grandparents had been turned away I would not be a proud American that I am today.

Timothy Keller – my last post on his book!

I’m finished with this book. The book is divided into two parts. So far all of my quotes have been from the first part that answers questions a skeptic might have. The second part he sets forth reasons to believe. The second half deals with this subject in such depth it has been hard to find quotes and excerpts that fit into this format of my blog. The following is about all I could find that was concise enough to fit this format. This will be my last blog post on this book. Again I highly recommend reading the whole book.

"To stay away from Christianity because part of the Bible’s teaching is offensive to you assumes that if there is a God he wouldn’t have any views that upset you. Does that belief make sense?"

One aspect that I have thought for many years that disproves evolution is how can we appreciate and enjoy the beauty? The Psalm says “the heavens declare the glory of God and the earth shows his handiwork”. Mr. Keller brings this up in his book.

Hi - I'm reading "The Reason for God: Belief in an Age of Skepticism" by Timothy Keller and wanted to share this quote with you.

"If there is no God, and everything in this world is the product of (as Bertrand Russell famously put it) “an accidental collocation of atoms,” then there is no actual purpose for which we were made—we are accidents. If we are the product of accidental natural forces, then what we call “beauty” is nothing but a neurological hardwired response to particular data. You only find certain scenery to be beautiful because you had ancestors who knew you would find food there and they survived because of that neurological feature and now we have it too. In the same way, though music feels significant, that significance is an illusion. Love too must be seen in this light. If we are the result of blind natural forces, then what we call “love” is simply a biochemical response, inherited from ancestors who survived because this trait helped them survive."

"C. S. Lewis puts this vividly: You can’t, except in the lowest animal sense, be in love with a girl if you know (and keep on remembering) that all the beauties both of her person and of her character are a momentary and accidental pattern produced by the collision of atoms, and that your own response to them is only a sort of psychic phosphorescence arising from the behavior of your genes. You can’t go on getting very serious pleasure from music if you know and remember that its air of significance is a pure illusion, that you like it only because your nervous system is irrationally conditioned to like it.

another quote:

"Sometimes people approach me and say, “I really struggle with this aspect of Christian teaching. I like this part of Christian belief, but I don’t think I can accept that part.” I usually respond: “If Jesus rose from the dead, then you have to accept all he said; if he didn’t rise from the dead, then why worry about any of what he said? The issue on which everything hangs is not whether or not you like his teaching but whether or not he rose from the dead.” That is how the first hearers felt who heard reports of the resurrection. They knew that if it was true it meant we can’t live our lives any way we want. It also meant we don’t have to be afraid of anything, not Roman swords, not cancer, nothing. If Jesus rose from the dead, it changes everything."

Later in the book:

"We have to recognize that virtually all of us begin our journey toward God because we want something from him. However, we must come to grips with the fact that we owe him our entire lives just because of what he has done for us already. He is our Creator, and for that fact alone we owe him everything. However, he is also our Redeemer, who rescued us at infinite cost to himself. Any heart that has come to its senses wants to surrender to Someone who not only is all-powerful but has proved that he will sacrifice anything for our good."