Phil and Macy

Phil and Macy

Friday, April 14, 2017

Phil's History – Growing Up As a Teenager


When I started this series I was going to cover a number of the strange things that went along with the blended family that didn't really blend. As I started to record some of them I started reliving those 7 years I realized I don't really want to go into it. What I will say is that my stepmother was in no way prepared to raise mouthy teenagers like my sister and I. I think we're pretty normal teenagers and she was just not equipped for that. I blame my dad mostly but she was an adult also who got into that situation by choice.

I would have to say that those years left me very angry and with a drinking problem. It wasn't that I had to drink every day it was just that when I drank I couldn't stop and that's where the problems lay. I started drinking beer when I was 14. There was a place in Hiawatha that would sell my friend Mike and I beer. We would go to this vacant field and split a 12 pack and just talk. Mike was into Native American things and we would often howl at the moon.

How my stepmother dealt with these 2 rebellious teenagers was to mock us and belittle us pretty much all the time our dad was gone. He was gone most of the week traveling for work. Our stepsister was often caught in the middle wishing she could do something about it but also sometimes joining in. Things were so bad for my sister that she could not wait to move out when she was 18. We heard for all those years that "your living under my roof so you'll do what I say". She got the idea that if she was on her own they would quit telling her what to do. This is what is really strange as that they continued to boss her around no matter what age she was. Even when she was in her 40s and 50s they would still call her and tell her what to do.

Since I was a boy I would have to say this treatment didn't really affect me as much as it did my sister. When we lived in Omaha she was a daddy's girl. When my mom died and my dad remarried she lost that. There always seem to be a competition between my stepmother and my sister. Looking back I came to terms with how they treated me until I was in my 30s and had children of my own. I have to say I never got past how they treated my sister and I just quit having anything to do with them. I decided I did not want my children exposed to their attitudes. I believe we were treated like "baggage" after my dad remarried. All those years and he always sided with my stepmother no matter how exaggerated her explanations of our behavior was.

One thing I have mentioned that was a big deal was how we were cut off from all of our cousins and my dad's relatives. We always looked forward to our trips to Fairmont to see my dad's mom and dad's brothers and their families. We loved seeing our cousins. I believe my dad hid it from my grandma, his mom, that he was marrying a divorcee. She was a very strict Catholic and she was very upset about him marrying a divorcee and shared that with them. This made my grandma's name mud to my stepmother and after one visit he was estranged from his family. So effectively over those years we lost our mother to death, our father to his new stepfamily and all the cousins that we came to think of his brothers and sisters whenever we were there. We even spent little time with the uncle who lived a few miles up the road from us and rarely saw them. After a couple years of living there we moved back to Cedar Rapids because my stepmother wanted to be near her family.

When I started out to detail some of the things that happened during the next 6 years for my sister and 7 for me It got too depressing and reflected poorly on everyone so I would just say this: my sister couldn't wait to move out when she turned 18. When I was 18 I tried to get into the Coast Guard. When I went for the physical I answered the questionnaire honestly. One thing was I sleepwalked and I put yes. I was quite the sleepwalker wandered around the house and asking odd questions. Never left the house just wandered around. This disqualified me from the Coast Guard because they did not want me wandering off a boat. To me this was crushing because I loved boats and look forward to it as a career. My father accused me of deliberately sabotaging my physical. Not long after that I came home one day to find all of my clothing and other possessions thrown out on the lawn with a suitcase. I was told to go find somewhere else to live. My friend Mark talked to his parents and I got to live with them until I got a job at Amana and moved out on my own. His parents were such kindhearted people and I really didn't know that other families were so different from mine till lived with them. They have hearts of gold!
So I think this covers as much is I'm going to say on the matter. Next history will be from when I turned 18 and lived on my own. Not sure when that will be but I will say my wife turn my life around and gave me a purpose.

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