When I started this series I was going to cover a number of
the strange things that went along with the blended family that didn't really
blend. As I started to record some of them I started reliving those 7 years I
realized I don't really want to go into it. What I will say is that my
stepmother was in no way prepared to raise mouthy teenagers like my sister and
I. I think we're pretty normal teenagers and she was just not equipped for
that. I blame my dad mostly but she was an adult also who got into that
situation by choice.
I would have to say that those years left me very angry and
with a drinking problem. It wasn't that I had to drink every day it was just
that when I drank I couldn't stop and that's where the problems lay. I started
drinking beer when I was 14. There was a place in Hiawatha that would sell my
friend Mike and I beer. We would go to this vacant field and split a 12 pack
and just talk. Mike was into Native American things and we would often howl at
the moon.
How my stepmother dealt with these 2 rebellious teenagers
was to mock us and belittle us pretty much all the time our dad was gone. He
was gone most of the week traveling for work. Our stepsister was often caught
in the middle wishing she could do something about it but also sometimes
joining in. Things were so bad for my sister that she could not wait to move
out when she was 18. We heard for all those years that "your living under
my roof so you'll do what I say". She got the idea that if she was on her
own they would quit telling her what to do. This is what is really strange as
that they continued to boss her around no matter what age she was. Even when
she was in her 40s and 50s they would still call her and tell her what to do.
Since I was a boy I would have to say this treatment didn't
really affect me as much as it did my sister. When we lived in Omaha she was a
daddy's girl. When my mom died and my dad remarried she lost that. There always
seem to be a competition between my stepmother and my sister. Looking back I
came to terms with how they treated me until I was in my 30s and had children
of my own. I have to say I never got past how they treated my sister and I just
quit having anything to do with them. I decided I did not want my children
exposed to their attitudes. I believe we were treated like "baggage"
after my dad remarried. All those years and he always sided with my stepmother
no matter how exaggerated her explanations of our behavior was.
One thing I have mentioned that was a big deal was how we
were cut off from all of our cousins and my dad's relatives. We always looked
forward to our trips to Fairmont to see my dad's mom and dad's brothers and
their families. We loved seeing our cousins. I believe my dad hid it from my
grandma, his mom, that he was marrying a divorcee. She was a very strict
Catholic and she was very upset about him marrying a divorcee and shared that
with them. This made my grandma's name mud to my stepmother and after one visit
he was estranged from his family. So effectively over those years we lost our
mother to death, our father to his new stepfamily and all the cousins that we
came to think of his brothers and sisters whenever we were there. We even spent
little time with the uncle who lived a few miles up the road from us and rarely
saw them. After a couple years of living there we moved back to Cedar Rapids
because my stepmother wanted to be near her family.
When I started out to detail some of the things that
happened during the next 6 years for my sister and 7 for me It got too
depressing and reflected poorly on everyone so I would just say this: my sister
couldn't wait to move out when she turned 18. When I was 18 I tried to get into
the Coast Guard. When I went for the physical I answered the questionnaire
honestly. One thing was I sleepwalked and I put yes. I was quite the
sleepwalker wandered around the house and asking odd questions. Never left the
house just wandered around. This disqualified me from the Coast Guard because
they did not want me wandering off a boat. To me this was crushing because I
loved boats and look forward to it as a career. My father accused me of
deliberately sabotaging my physical. Not long after that I came home one day to
find all of my clothing and other possessions thrown out on the lawn with a
suitcase. I was told to go find somewhere else to live. My friend Mark talked
to his parents and I got to live with them until I got a job at Amana and moved
out on my own. His parents were such kindhearted people and I really didn't
know that other families were so different from mine till lived with them. They
have hearts of gold!
So I think this covers as much is I'm going to
say on the matter. Next history will be from when I turned 18 and lived on my
own. Not sure when that will be but I will say my wife turn my life around and
gave me a purpose.
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