MS and embarrassment

I will post about our pets eventually and I hope I do not forget them. I have never had good memory and now it is horrible. It is so much worse than other people my age tell me that there's is. Other people my age tell me there's is bad and that is what is wrong with mine. I think they say this to make me feel better but they don't know how terrible mine really is.
It has come to my attention that my wife reads my blog and is embarrassed by some of the things I post that are probably more private than it should publish. I apologize to her and that was not my intention. Somehow I think that me posting the effects of MS will help others with MS. I hope some of the people who read| my blog are people with MS. My case is rare and extreme symptom wise. I hope other with MS will find that my eventual acceptance will allow them to accept their symptoms.
My personal experience is that it takes about six months from when I lose abilities before I have acceptance of them. A big part of this is that my wife adds more to what she already does which is almost everything. Part of me is tired of adding more to her and that is why some of my posts discuss very negative thoughts. Her unspoken acceptance allows me to eventually accept it. Now neither of my arms move anymore this is proving to be a very serious change. I'm finding that I'm losing the use of my neck and turning my head is getting more difficult. Some people think I am asleep. Now with the effects of my new medication I can say that every part of my body is now affected by my medical problems. Some people think old poor Phil but I think I'll pour wife. So back to apologizing, I am lost my ability to be humiliated back why was still working. Many of my problems I found to be embarrassing but one in particular, that I will not mention, talk my last bit of pride. I am never embarrassed and more. I should find a catheter change embarrassing but I don't. Sometimes my son takes me and I just chat with nurse. There are about six or so and is rarely the same one. One is is about my sons age and single. I tell him he should ask her out. He says it would be too weird to date someone who is seen my father like that. Oh well, I tried. The event that took way my last bit of pride reminds me of the character of Seinfeld, Jackie the lawyer. After representing Kramer he said "is the greatest of my many humiliations". I have that so many that I have become impervious. One of my problems is that with MS I am losing my speech filter. I have difficulty speaking clearly so it works out good if I don't say much. Well that's all for today. I hope to get to animal stories before I forget them.