Merry Christmas

Wishing everyone a Merry Christmas! This photo was taken at the Amana colonies. We went for brunch at the Ox Yoke for their Sunday buffet. It was outstanding. Too many things for me to sample all of them. Afterwards we went to the Tannenbaum Forest for their Christmas tree display. This is where the photo was taken.

When we went inside someone who was working there at a little dog tucked in the lapel of their overcoat. It was sound asleep. I wish I’d gotten a picture, it was unbelievably cute. I would think it weighed under 2 pounds. I asked about it and find out it was a West Highland Terrier. I know a friend who has a West Highland Terrier and it is an excellent dog.

I hope to get a photo of Macy with her antlers on and Atlas with his on. I want both of them in the same photo. I’m not sure if that’s possible. Right now I have individual photos and will post them later if I can get a combination photo. Have a great holiday season everyone!

               

Evil – Differing Aspects Part One

As all of you know there have been a number of events across the world in which evil has reared its ugly head. I have so many thoughts on this I find it difficult to sort them out. There have been terrorist attacks by “Islamic extremists” and there have been attacks against Planned Parenthood by a “religious extremist”. Perhaps this document will help me.

My first thought is to disagree with the use of the word extremist. To me extremist suggests they are following the teachings of their religion to an extreme. I don’t believe this is true of any religion. No religion teaches the execution of those who are born and live in a different country. I know people say that Israel did this when they went into the land so many years ago. I will have more on this subject in the following post.

We see evil in the world and really I find no human explanation of these crazy acts. These terrorists complete military training and then vent their anger on innocent groups of people. Strange and cowardly. Why do they go to this training and then attack where anyone could attack. Of course they think themselves brave but they are not. I repeat they are cowards!

The Bible teaches us there are two sources of evil working amongst us. In the book of Job, Satan (the evil one) moves major forces and wreaks evil upon Job. We also, find in the letters of Paul, evil resides in the hearts of men (all men). For each individual there is always the path of faith in Jesus Christ to deliver us from the power and penalty of this evil. Coming to Jesus does this in our hearts and gives us the power to ignore it (reckon it dead) and live as Christ wants us to. This leads me to my thoughts on differing aspects of how to deal with evil. I hope to write more in a later post.

 

 

 

Donald Trump – Friend or Foe?

In today’s Cedar Rapids Gazette was the following letter to the editor. I found it very interesting and feel constrained to comment on Donald Trump. I understand he has some valid points and concerns. His solutions are nonexistent or bizarre. I know a lot of people support him but I have some questions.

People portray him as a great businessman who will run America well. My questions are these:

How many times did his businesses is go bankrupt? When his business went bankrupt why did he have enough money to start a new one? What happened to his investors in these dealings? I really don’t see he has enough business acumen. Has anyone told Donald Trump that the president has to work with dozens if not hundreds of people. You can not just announce “you’re fired”. Won’t work. Why on earth would anyone think it would work? The president is not the CEO of the United States and never will be.

I saw him being interviewed along with his wife. He came across human. I understand the media loves his soundbites and exaggerates. I believe his candidacy started out as an attempt to pull the Republican Party in one direction. This Donald Trump movement has probably taken everyone by surprise including himself. I really don’t see how Donald Trump would really want to be President of the United States

Trigeminal Neuralgia Update December 16

I thought it would be good to give a small update even though there’s not much change yet. The doctor said it may be two weeks to three weeks before the new medications kick in. I also have to draw down on the gabapentin over the next week or so. Dr. said not to go cold turkey.

I notice there is a little less pain but not much different. I remain optimistic and have only been on the new med for four days. I can talk slightly better with less pain but eating is still excruciating. It is good thing I like to eat! Drinking from a straw (I normally drink like that now) still hurts but slightly less. Thank you for your thoughts and prayers,
God bless all of you.

Facebook Memory – Santa Cat

This photo popped up on Facebook the other day. Santa Cat stopped by for a visit a few years ago around this time of year. As you can see she was thrilled with her get up. It was similar to when we tried putting a collar on her. Once they were on her she just ceased moving and sulked in one place. She stared into space angrily and was limp if we tried to pick her up.

After the first time of trying to collar her I took it off and never put it back on. She is an indoor cat and does not seem to ever want to go outside except for a couple times. We have taken her outside in the backyard and she wants back in immediately.

I’m showing this photo as a prelude to her new headdress. We hope to have photos of Antlered Kitty later this month. We really hope to have photos of Antlered Kitty along with Atlas with his Christmas headdress.

Weekend

The photo is of Tom’s dog Atlas and Tom’s friends dog Gronk. Gronk is an old English bulldog. He and Atlas are best friends. Atlas and Gronk chased each other, fought over the same toy and wrestled for over two hours. Tom and I got the UFC fight on pay-per-view. Tom friend Jared and another friend Al came over to watch. Howe left his dogs at home. He probably didn’t know it was doggie UFC night.

My wife went to Chicago with one of her sisters and her husband. They went to visit our niece whose son is Carson. That is why Tom was here this weekend. He came to babysit me. I’ve gotten to hang out a lot with Atlas.

He and Macy slept on the bed with me at the same time. We have a new comforter on the bed and it is shinier than the old one. Macy really seems to like the fabric. So Macy makes a little nest between my knees. When she scrunches it down. She Doesn’t want to move even when the dog comes in.

It has been an enjoyable weekend with Tom and his dog. Course I miss my wife but it’s nice that she can get out. The UFC telecast had five fights in it. Couple were good. One was especially bloody. The last one between Connor and Aldo was supposed to be good. It might’ve been if you like Connor. It was over in 13 seconds. Connor caught Aldo with a knockout punch and it was over.

Right now I am home alone with Atlas. Tom is running an errand. Atlas is pouting. He was barking at the neighbors and I scolded him and told him he was a bad dog. He went to the bedroom for a while and now he is back but pouting. He’s a good dog though.

Trigeminal Neuralgia Postdoc Update

My son Tom took me to the neurologist today for my mouth pain. Dr. switched me to a different medicine similar to Tegretol but is better tolerated by MS patient. It may take two or three weeks to be effective and I have to decrease slowly the amount of gabapentin.

I am optimistic that this will help. I did ask what is the next step if this doesn’t work or becomes less effective over time. The neurologist said the next step is to go in Iowa city. They would perform something called a gamma knife on the nerve. Not sure what that is but if  the pain can be decreased or eliminated by that so be it.

I am optimistic this next medication will help but my experience says to plan for the next phase so what happened is not a surprise.

Porch

Yesterday it was warm enough that I was able to go out and enjoy the screened porch. It was a little chilly but I spent about an hour and a half. I find it that my MS makes me very sensitive to heat. I can handle called now and am fine unless I start shivering. Yesterday actually felt comfortable even though was in the 50s.
The trees are pretty barren but the wind was moving them around pretty good. Macy came out and joined me but got all agitated by the blowing leaves. I’m sure she thinks there birds. It was a very enjoyable afternoon.

Trigeminal Neuralgia Yet Another Update

I heard back from the neurologist yesterday and have an appointment tomorrow. He had told my primary care physician that it is rare to perform a procedure to alleviate this problem. So far, in this progression with MS, he has been a bit of a stick in the mud. Not looking forward to this visit. I really can’t live with this pain and I fear he may say “too bad so sad” in effect.

Please pray for me. My son Tom is taking me due to a scheduling conflict for my wife. Please pray for her because it will be tough on her to not be there.

Pebble

Almost 50 years ago I was in the Boy Scouts. We are scheduled to go on a hike of almost 20 miles. To prepare we read some things to help us. One of the things I remember was “putting a pebble in your mouth, under your tongue, helps prevent thirst”. Of course we tried this, my cousins and I. We found it worked and none of us swallowed the pebble by accident.

Earlier this week I spent two days waiting for a call back from the neurologist. It was for my mouth pain. I found that waiting for the call changed my behavior considerably. Everything I did I had to consider “what if they call while I’m doing this”. I didn’t go far my phone for two days. This reminded me of our hope as Christians. I remembered these verses – “how ye turned to God from idols to serve the living and true God; And to wait for his Son from heaven, whom he raised from the dead, even Jesus, which delivered us from the wrath to come.” 1 Thessalonians 1:7, 9-10 KJV

The portion “to wait for his son from heaven” has been the pebble in my mouth so to speak. I have thought on this verse all week. It is these pebbles that have kept me from having a “thirsty soul” for many years. One does not need to memorize large portions of Scripture to get the benefit of just a small section.

Macy, the Scowller Kitty

My wife took a picture of my two favorite cats. On the right is Grumpy Cat the Internet superstar. On the left is Macy, the Scowller Kitty. She is scowling a little bit in this picture. She does not like her picture taken.

She is a good kitty. She doesn’t climb in the tree. Sometimes she tears around on the tree skirt and attacks it. If one of the bulbs falls off she may bat it around a little bit. For the most part she leaves the tree alone.

There is also a picture of Macy and the little boy. She is scowling because he is brushing her but not the correct way. She couldn’t leave because she loves getting brushed but had to show her displeasure that it was imperfect. Silly kitty!

Trigeminal neuralgia

I have wanted to post on my blog but I haven't been able to. I called the neurologist yesterday. I still have a lot of pain and my primary care physician said he had done all I could and I need to see the neurologist.
I called yesterday morning and waited all day for a callback. I drop my phone around 430. Of course they call a few minutes after that but I couldn't answer. Today same story. Been waiting all morning and no call. I can't use my PC to post until the call. Oh well.

Faith Bible Church

It has been a while since I’ve been able to make it to church. Our home church has been Faith Bible Church for years. Fortunately the sermons are published on their website. Each Monday morning I listen to a sermon and now they’ve included the preliminary music. I really enjoy the preaching at Faith Bible Church and am very glad for this opportunity. They added music and I find this very uplifting.

http://www.faithb.org/sermons/

Atlas Has a New Fetch Partner – Servant

It’s a beautiful day. My mouth pain is a tiny bit better but it hurts to talk. My spirits are up though. We are treated to a four-day visit from Atlas. Our son Tom, is doing some tests related to his work and then going to the Big Ten championship game in Indianapolis.
Atlas has figured out what my limitations are. He needs to put the toy right where I can get it with my right hand. Then he has another servant to play fetch with!

t’s a beautiful day. My mouth pain is a tiny bit better but it hurts to talk. My spirits are up though. We are treated to a four-day visit from Atlas. Our son Tom, is doing some tests related to his work and then going to the Big Ten championship game in Indianapolis.

Atlas has figured out what my limitations are. He needs to put the toy right where I can get it with my right hand. Then he has another servant to play fetch with!

Four types of Multiple Sclerosis

Recently there was an excellent website article about the four types of multiple sclerosis. Some of the types are very foreign to people because the effects of the disease are rare and uncommon. I have one of those types.

This is the website – http://ms.newlifeoutlook.com/types-ms/

The following is a comment I wrote on that Facebook post.

I have Primary Progressive Multiple Sclerosis. Unknowingly I was afflicted with it since 1999. I was diagnosed in 2009. At that time I was walking with a cane. Since then I have I have progressed to a wheelchair that tilts and belts me in. My left arm no longer works. I can slightly move my left leg and my right leg a little too. My right hand and arm barely function and my thumb no longer works very well. Most of the time I can force my right pointer finger out enough to run my iPad. Some days I am able to log into my PC and use my voice recognition software.

This article is really good at explaining the different types of MS. My type is somewhat uncommon so people get the wrong impression when they hear I have MS. When I was first diagnosed I looked into all four types and read about Primary Relapsing. This seemed like a horrible horrible disease and worse than mine. Then I met Justin who has this type. He was diagnosed at 17.

Now it is no longer merely academic. I now know someone who is afflicted. My emotions range from anger to sadness. This is followed by more anger and more sadness. I hate this disease and I hate when young people are afflicted with it. I am in my 50s and have had many unaffected years. My children are raised to being adults. I’ve done most things that you would ever want to do. To find out there is a worse type of MS makes me want to cry out “help stop this disease”. Not for my sake (I am too old for any help to be approved before I’m in my 60s) but for young people like Justin!

Bad Mood Lightened Part 2

When I started this blog I had decided to be as truthful as possible as I make my posts So in that vein I will add more about my mood. My mood this morning was really bad. My mouth hurts in three places. It hurts when I talk, when I eat and especially when I drink. I’m really tired of the pain. Previously I could poke at the pain with my tongue and it would eventually stabilize. That was when the pain was only one place. Now it is in three places and this does not work.

Later in the morning my left foot was turned on edge because of spasms. This was not a big deal but around 1130 it started hurting where the side of my foot was resting. I tried a couple of my tricks to get it to move but no luck.

I tipped back hoping my left foot would move but it didn’t. I started praying and that was when the tears came. I’m not sure I prayed very well and I cried for about 10 minutes. I don’t say this so you’ll feel sorry for me but it is what it is. I always feel better after a good cry and this time was no different. My mood was still not very good.

When I stopped crying I heard a noise. It was a little chirping type noise mix with a meow. Macy (the multiple sclerosis cat) was meowing at me because she wanted me to tip my chair so she could jump up on my lap. She must sense my moods because she was in my lap for most of the morning and part of the afternoon. This is very unusual. She usually gets up once and when she gets down she doesn’t come back until evening.

As I stroked her for she tucked her head under the arm of my wheelchair and went to sleep. I now have my priorities straight. It is kitty first and then kitty second and kitty third if needed! She always seems to improve my attitude.

Bad Mood Lightened a Little

This morning I woke up in a fairly bad mood. Part of it I was feeling sorry for myself. In the mornings I listen to Christian music and read a book that has religious characters in. These books are fiction but the characters and plot are usually very interesting. This morning my bad mood was lessened by reading two of the characters discuss some of their history. The story was beautiful and is following:

 “How’d you handle it, losing your mom, I mean?”

 “I don’t know. The only good thing was we both knew she was dying. We knew she only had a few months left. She really wanted to prepare me for it. We did her will together. We picked out songs for her funeral. Flowers. The whole thing. I remember she once heard a sermon about a woman who’d also died of cancer. And the woman had come to her pastor and told him exactly what she wanted at her funeral and what Bible verses to read and everything. And then, when she was all done, she told him that she wanted to be laid out in an open casket with a fork in her right hand. And the pastor says, ‘A fork? Why a fork?

’ And she says, ‘When I was a little girl, I used to love church suppers. And when the meal was done, and people were clearing the dishes, one of the older women in the church would always come over and lean down and whisper to me, save your fork. And I loved that. Because I knew it meant something better was coming—apple pie or chocolate cake or blueberry cobbler, or something. And pastor,’ she said, ‘when I die, I want people to come by and see me and then ask you, Why’s she got a fork in her hand? And I want you to tell them my little story, and then tell them the good news—that when you know Christ, you know there’s something better coming. There’s something better coming.’”

My mom loved that story. She had a tape of that sermon and she played it over and over. So she asked me to make sure she had a fork in her hand at her funeral. She wanted her friends to know—she wanted me to know—that when you know Jesus Christ in a real and personal way, there’s something better coming.”

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Trigeminal Neuralgia Update – December First

I heard from my doctor on Monday. He discussed my pain with my neurologist. The conclusion is that the Gabapentin at its highest dose is the best my primary care physician can do for me. The neurologist expressed doubt there was any kind of procedure to eliminate the pain permanently. I’m supposed to make an appointment with him.

I’m now on the maximum dosage allowed of Gabapentin since last Friday. I still have a significant amount of pain but it seems to be held at bay somewhat after I get going in the morning. While I eat breakfast the pain is excruciating. The more I move my mouth seems to decrease the pain. If I go for more than 10 minutes without moving my mouth the pain reverts to the same as if I just gotten up.

When I first went on gabapentin it took 2 to 3 weeks to become effective. Hopefully this high dose leads to elimination of this pain. I’m going to make an appointment with my neurologist but he has already said procedures for this condition are very rare. He tends to be a bit of a Butthead so I have very little hope he will help me.

This brings up something I found out on Thanksgiving. There was a new wine there called Pozzan. It was a red wine that was neither dry nor sweet. I’ve never tasted the wine this good. Long story short, I drank a little too much wine. I think I was enabled by my wonderful sister-in-law’s. I was warned that the little kids would think I was drunk uncle Phil. The problem was I found this red wine helped with my mouth pain. I certainly can’t drink that much wine each day to help with the pain. “I did try singing a little of John Denver’s “sunshine on my shoulders makes me happy”. Of course my singing is awful so I was asked to quit!

Iowa Hawkeye Football

Over 30 years ago the Hawkeye football team went 1 – 10. The next year they were winless with 11 losses. Iowa football was horrible. A few years later Hayden Fry came on board and I expected more of the same. Amazingly turn the program around and they became not just a good team but often a national power. When he retired I was afraid the good days were over. I was wrong.
Ferenz had a few “not so great year” s but I think he is the best type of coach Iowa could get and retain. He has some really good years. He Is not looking to move up in the coaching ranks so that we worry about them leaving every year he does good. Now the team is 12 – 0. To me this is amazing. If they keep winning great if not this is been an amazing year.

Trigeminal Neuralgia Update

I had a doctor appointment Monday to discuss trigeminal neuralgia and its ongoing problems. One of the medications had side effects that did not work with my MS. Another one prescribed did not help the pain. The doctor had mentioned I was on a very low dose of Gabapentin, the first medication I was on.

The result of the visit is that I have a much higher dose of gabapentin now and it seems to help with the pain with very little side effects. The only side effect is a little bit of sleepiness but not much. It has not totally eliminated the pain. Before gabapentin the pain was a 8 to 12 on a 10 point scale. I say 12 because the pain was beyond anything I imagine possible. We used to have a very old-school dentist and he would often drill after the Novocain wore off. The pain with trigeminal neurology was beyond the pain I experienced from that!

Now the pain is from a three to an eight. It seems to be decreasing as the higher dose has longer time to work. I’m hoping the pain is taken care of soon. If not the pain is tolerable now but not ideal. It hurts when I drink anything. It also hurts when I talk. Sometimes it doesn’t hurt at all. Last night I had almost no pain while I slept.

My primary care physician Dr. Roof, is going to contact my neurologist and discussed options for the future. I had read on the Internet there are couple procedures that somehow kill the nerve and relieves the pain permanently. The doctors are going to discuss it and see which way to go. Hopefully the Gabapentin will work enough in the interim.

Busy Weekend

Well since I have MS I suppose I should mention it once in a while on my blog. Friday was a busy day. Had a doctor’s appointment, went out to lunch and then there were some taxing hygiene activities to deal with later that day. The trip to the doctor included a few hundred yard drive in my wheelchair. This really taxed my right hand capacity. So at the end of the night I was having serious problems driving my chair.

I could go forward fairly easy. Backwards was okay. Pulling my right hand to the left was fairly easy but going to the right my hand kept slipping off the joystick. I had one beer with lunch and my wife said “the beer probably caused problems”. I said "no way", but in the back of my mind I needed to find out if she was right. I don’t drink much but I do love the taste of beer. Dark beers, Ambers, and Browns are my favorite.

I decided the next time I had a beer or two (two is about the maximum) I would see if that caused my problems driving. Saturday we went to listen to our nephew at a local barbecue spot. I had a couple beers and found my hand worked as well as could be expected. My conclusion is that one or two beers is not a problem. The difficulty was from a fairly abnormal amount of activities on that Friday.

We had a great time Saturday evening. I was glad to get out and find out for sure what my capacities are again. This is how the disease works on the mind. There is always a constant assessment, reassessment and adaptation to deal with this ever-changing disease.

Revelation Chapter 22

To finish up some of my thoughts on revelation I will discuss the last few verses in the book.
“Behold, I come quickly: blessed is he that keeps the sayings of the prophecy of this book. And he saith unto me, Seal not the sayings of the prophecy of this book: for the time is at hand.
And the Spirit and the bride say, Come. And let him that hears say, Come. And let him that is athirst come. And whosoever will, let him take the water of life freely.
He which testifies these things says, Surely I come quickly. Amen. Even so, come, Lord Jesus.”
Revelation 22:7, 10, 17, 20 KJV

I see a promise in these verses that in a sense open up the entire book. It says it is a blessing to keep the sayings of this book. So it is a book of blessing not terror. How many times did Jesus or his angels say “fear not”. I’ve been told that if you’re afraid it surely is not of God. Fear is used by the enemy of our souls to make us not trust our God.

I think we “keep the sayings” by having the attitude that is shown in the very last verse. We know there is a day coming. Actually a moment coming where this world will pass from the condition it is in right now and the world will fall under God’s judgment. We don’t know when this will be but there is a cut off time and date that God knows. When we think of all of our relatives and friends who don’t know Jesus we want that date to be further away. We love these people and we want them to be in heaven with Jesus. This concern would make us ask God to withhold his judgment. But the last portion says “surely I come quickly”. In our hearts we say “Amen. Even so, come Lord Jesus”. The attitude I see in these verses is that we long for HIS coming and know that his judgment is true and holy.

Revelation Chapter 21

What I see and enjoy in Revelation chapter 21 is that it is a chapter that leads into the “eternal state”. After all the trials and tribulations seen in the previous books here we are with a new heaven and new earth. God is with man. No more pain, the former things are passed away!

John is told to write these words and that is far benefit and edification. I particularly enjoy the phrase “I’m Alpha and Omega”. In the Gospel of John chapter 1 the Word is there at the creation and now we find the same one at the end of all things, the Omega.

“And I saw a new heaven and a new earth: for the first heaven and the first earth were passed away; and there was no more sea. And I John saw the holy city, new Jerusalem, coming down from God out of heaven, prepared as a bride adorned for her husband. And I heard a great voice out of heaven saying, Behold, the tabernacle of God is with men, and he will dwell with them, and they shall be his people, and God himself shall be with them, and be their God. And God shall wipe away all tears from their eyes; and there shall be no more death, neither sorrow, nor crying, neither shall there be any more pain: for the former things are passed away. And he that sat upon the throne said, Behold, I make all things new. And he said unto me, Write: for these words are true and faithful. And he said unto me, It is done. I am Alpha and Omega, the beginning and the end. I will give unto him that is athirst of the fountain of the water of life freely.” Revelation 21:1-6

 

Revelation chapters 4 – 20

I got to the end of the book of Revelation Tuesday. Chapters 4 – 20 deal with the coming judgment upon the earth when Christ returns. I think most people have some knowledge of Armageddon and the coming judgment. I think most people have heard of the four Horsemen of the Apocalypse. I was no different and I knew a few things and found them unsettling to say the least.

I started working at LeFebure in the late 70s and I worked with a man named Lonnie. Lonnie was knowledgeable about many things. He told me of the coming judgment and Armageddon. After that, anytime I read about fighting in the Middle East or terrorism against Israel I was filled with fear. I thought Armageddon was coming and I knew I was not prepared. I had no idea how to become prepared. Neither did Lonnie.

A few years later I started reading the Bible and the chapters in Revelation that pertained to the coming judgment were terrifying. I knew I was not prepared. I was in this condition for a number of years. I came to the Savior when I was 25 years old. I learned then that I would be spared from this wrath to come. See Thessalonians chapter 1 verse 10. At the bottom of my blog there is a page that has my Christian testimony. Pop down there if you want to read it.
So I had mentioned previous to this post that Revelation was three parts. Up to chapter 3 are the “things which are”. Chapters 4 through 20 I believe are “the things which shall be hereafter;” Revelation 1:19 KJV
“After this I looked, and, behold, a door was opened in heaven: and the first voice which I heard was as it were of a trumpet talking with me; which said, Come up hither, and I will shew thee things which must be hereafter.” Revelation 4:1 KJV

I feel very inadequate writing these things about this book. I know so little and advise you to find ministry to further study this book. What I find in chapters 4 through 20 would terrify me if I did not know the Lord Jesus Christ as my Savior. Paul wrote “Knowing therefore the terror of the Lord, we persuade men;  2 Corinthians 5:11 KJV. My personal testimony is that you can find peace in knowing Jesus and I agree with Paul, I persuade you to seek the Lord while he may be found!

Video Test – Strange Problem

I added a video yesterday to my blog. It was a movie taken with my iPad so I was afraid there would be problems playing it on a PC. Surprisingly it runs fine on my PC but does not show up on my iPad. This seems so strange. I really don’t understand how computers do stuff anymore. Back in the DOS days I sort of understood but things have changed so much that I don’t really follow anymore. I just click on stuff and hope it works.
Let me know if you have problems dealing the video and what type of device you tried it on.

video test– beast mode

 I spent yesterday's capacity trying to load a video. Today I realized that wasn't a video that I was trying to load. Here's the video. It is of Macy in what I call beast mode. She doesn't like her paws touched. you may notice when I scratch her chin or ears she is fine. When my hand drifts down to her chest. or paws it's a beast mode! Even in this she does not really bite but just puts her teeth on my hand. I have had to quit playing like this because I can't get my hand away without her teeth catching on my skin. I really enjoy when she tips her head back and bears her teeth. Such a fierce creature!‭‭‭‭‭‭‭‭‬‬

Speech Recognition:

I was recently asked “how did you add a lengthy posting to your blog”. The person who asked knows that I have almost zero capacity to type. He also knows speaking is difficult for me. I told him I used speech recognition software on my PC. I will attempt to explain how I benefit and some of the difficulties.

My iPad and my iPhone both have Siri enabled. The bottom line on Siri is that is not very useful for people in my condition. One is required to hold the home button down to enact Siri. Siri is not very smart and misunderstands almost everything said. One annoying example is that I will ask it to open Kindle, and e-book software. I know I don’t speak the best but Siri hears open Kendall. Then Siri tells me I have no application named that and do I want to look for it in the app store. Now I am stuck with Siri open and I must hit the button again to close Siri.

In one recent iOS update one feature was added for Siri. You are supposed to be able to engage Siri by saying to the device “Hey Siri… And then the request”. You also must have the device on a power cable at the time for it to work. I have an iPad on a swingarm and it is plugged into power all the time. Unfortunately the hey Siri feature only works about half the time. I end up yelling at my iPad and still no Siri. Sometimes it engages hey Siri for no apparent reason. Again when Siri engages I must push the home button to disengage. I have tried saying cancel Siri but that does not work. Siri also seems pretty touchy. When Siri functions incorrectly I mutter things like “stupid Siri”. Of course Siri hears this and expresses hurt feelings. Poor Siri!

So the answer the question of how I add to my blog – is that I use my PC, Microsoft Word and a speech recognition software named Dragon Naturally Speaking. I acquired a newer PC earlier this year so that I could open a blog. The software works much much better than Siri. The biggest advantage in the software is that I can correct mistakes in spelling and grammar. It still requires that I noticed them so some make it into my “writing”. As I learned to use this software I can dictate in Microsoft Word almost totally hands-free. I tell the software to correct a certain word and it brings up a list of words that I may want to substitute. If my word is not on the list I can say “spell that” and I can tell it letter by letter how to spell the word I want. This makes it so much more functional than speech recognition on my Apple devices.

I transcribe my blog posts in Microsoft Word. That I am able to do a few voice commands to copy my writing. I can then open my blog manually and paste in what I have written. I can add the title by voice but it won’t capitalize things correctly. I must do that in Microsoft Word, then cut it from my file and then paste it into the heading. Same thing when I share it on Facebook. If I don’t cut and paste then there are no capitals. Some days I have the strength to correct this and other days I just let it ride.

My only complaint about the software Dragon Naturally Speaking is that – I thought when I purchased the latest version it would be smart enough that I could run my PC hands-free. This is not turned out to be the case. I can still control the mouse and mouse clicking by voice but I can’t say commands and have it actuate them. When I was still working I used Windows XP and added a previous version of Dragon Naturally Speaking. I could control and dictate to any Microsoft product and it would understand the menu commands as they spoke them.

This current version with Windows 8 does not function as well. Strangely the voice commands work a little bit in Facebook. I can say mouse commands and things like page up page down. All of a sudden though this function ceases in the Facebook app and I must use the mouse pad on the PC. I can only do this for short while. My pointer finger just quits responding and curls up. If I rest for a while it will come back for short periods of time like to close my PC and shut it down.

With all this technology it seems to me that the speech recognition software and the PC would work better now than it two years ago. I’m afraid Dragon software is going direction where they want to be useful for specific industries like medical transcription. Their development for disabled people seems to have gone away. Oh well, is it is what it is and I find I can still function better than I could without it.

New Capability:

I have a tablet holder made for a car mount. It is attached to my little table I use in the living room. My friend Bruce modified it so that it swings out of the way when I use my PC. Now I have a similar one and Bruce modified it so I can use it on my wheelchair. My son Matt added Velcro so that I can Velcro my phone to the tablet holder. I can now take pictures with my phone. These are a few photos from Sunday. If you look close you can see the tablet mounts I mentioned.

One of my wife’s sister’s brought her grandson, Carson over to visit. He also brought Lucy the cute little doggie. Carson had his Davy Crockett, raccoon skin hat with him. It was a short visit but I was so glad to see them.

I hope to be able to add pictures that I can take and possibly videos. I haven’t tried adding a video so I hope it goes as easy as adding photos.

Paris – Cowardly Attacks

Yesterday I watched on the news about the terror attacks in Paris. I have thought of little else. I find I have so many thoughts and emotions perhaps documenting them may help me sort them out.

The people who perpetrated these acts knew they were going to die on suicide missions. These fools think themselves as warriors for mighty cause. They are not. The press speculated that they had military training. That does not make them warriors! If they had training, they used it to mercilessly kill unarmed, unaware and innocent people; they are not warriors. These perpetrators have believed lies! There is no war that warriors wage that includes these cowardly acts. All I can say is fools of fools fools!

Their handlers and enablers are sitting back chuckling and high-fiving each other over all the press these acts are providing. They believe it furthers their cause and it probably does resonate within a certain group of disaffected slightly mad people. Again these handlers and instigators are not warriors.
ISIL and Al Qaeda are also organizations that attack military targets. While I disagree with their methods and goals in this capacity they are combatants in war. Their terror activities are beyond reprehensible and are disgusting. They bring shame upon the entire Arab and Islamic world.

I’m also somewhat distressed by the way the media is covering this. I understand the need to report it but this non-ending coverage is just what the terrorists want. They want to see the fear. They want to see the stadium emptied in the soccer game stopped. I feel it is just too much coverage that may spur further terrorist attempts.

The media keeps mentioning that they were sophisticated attacks and coordinated. One official corrected them and said that they were complicated but not sophisticated. They were neither complicated nor sophisticated. They were thugs with military equipment shooting those totally unable to defend themselves in any way. I am completely disabled. Their “victory” is the equivalent of coming into my home and attacking me when I cannot defend myself in the slightest. There is no glory in these acts. If they think there is they are ABSOLUTELY WRONG on all counts!

Hebrews Chapter 2 – some thoughts

“Therefore we ought to give the more earnest heed to the things which we have heard, lest at any time we should let them slip. For if the word spoken by angels was steadfast, and every transgression and disobedience received a just recompence of reward; How shall we escape, if we neglect so great salvation; which at the first began to be spoken by the Lord, and was confirmed unto us by them that heard him; God also bearing them witness, both with signs and wonders, and with diverse miracles, and gifts of the Holy Ghost, according to his own will?”
Hebrews 2:1-4

Earlier this week I was enjoying Hebrews chapter 2. These verses stood out to me. Of note is the verse containing “How shall we escape, if we neglect so great salvation” Truly God is love but God is also just and righteous. God’s holiness and love uniting in Christ’s work on the cross. All the work was done for us and offered freely to “whosoever will”. With this in mind the author asked the question “How shall we escape”. It is a rhetorical question in the answer is obvious, we cannot escape. God’s provision of Christ on the cross is the only way to escape.

When I first became a Christian one of the verses I memorized was John 5:24. “Verily, verily, I say unto you, He that hears my word, and believes on him that sent me, hath everlasting life, and shall not come into condemnation; but is passed from death unto life”.

Of note is that it is written in the present tense. Hearing and believing yields everlasting life immediately. It is not after I die and the good and the bad are weighed against each other. If that were the case I would have no escape! Another verse that ties in with this theme is ““Knowing therefore the terror of the Lord, we persuade men;” 2 Corinthians 5:11 KJV

I see a lot of political and moral topics discussed on TV and in social media. All of these pale in comparison to the question of "what will you do with Jesus?

Trigeminal Neuralgia update

Yesterday I shared some of the problems I’ve been having. I wanted to report that today when I woke up my right arm and hand were very close to being back to functionality. As much as I had a week ago. Now I can log on to my PC and do most things with my iPad. I appreciate your prayers and thoughts.

I still have a fairly significant amount of pain in my cheek and jaw. For some reason it gets worse at night. Usually it fades during the day after I started eating. Today it hasn’t gone away after I got up like it has previous. The pain is tolerable but hurts every time I talk, eat or drink. I’m hoping with continued use of the new medication this will be more manageable. I see the doctor the 23^rd as a follow-up.

Hopefully I can post more on my blog. As soon as I was going to use it this morning Macy got in my lap and prevented me. She ran off later because she saw leaves blowing around. We think she thinks they are little birds. Silly kitty

trigeminal neuralgia two

I tried a new medication for my trigeminal neuralgia pain. I don’t remember what was called but it really messed up my MS. I felt hot all the time and overall very weak and sleepy. My spasms were worse and my right hand was curled up in a ball most of the time. Very difficult to run an iPad or PC without at least one finger. I called the doctor Monday.

They called back that afternoon. One choice was to increase the dosage of gabapentin. They chose to switch me to an alternate painkiller. It happened to be one I took a year ago for neck pain. I started taking that yesterday. Pain is still there but the side effects are much easier to deal with. So far I don’t notice any side effects.

Please continue to pray for me. My right hand is come back a little bit but not like I needed to be. I required my son to log on to my PC so I could post this. Thank you so much.

Trigeminal Neuralgia

Around a year ago I started having a strange pain in my mouth and jaw on the right side of my face. As time went on it increased in severity. The pain felt like an electric shock. Sometimes it felt like a 9 V battery shocking my jaw or cheek. Sometimes the pain would linger and sometimes it would be intermittent. Sometimes it pulsed. The pain progressed and started to feel like a shock from an electrical outlet. It followed the same pattern of lingering, intermittent or pulsing. Sometimes the pain was so terrible I could only tuck my head down and wait for it to pass. At these times any contact of my cheek on my teeth would set it off. Pulling my cheek away with my hand or tongue did not help. The contact from my hand or tongue would increase the pain. I assumed I had some type of sore my mouth and that it would go away.

This did not happen, so earlier this year I went to my primary care doctor. He was out and so an Associate doctor saw me. He poked around and said that I needed to see a specialist. We were surprised at how quick he was to wash his hands of the issue. We then went to the specialist he recommended. The specialist looked around also and found no obvious source. He prescribed a lidocaine based mouthwash called “magic mouthwash”. He said the type of pain I had a normally referred people to an Iowa City dentist that he knew. I’m not sure why I went to him as a specialist.

The mouthwash helped a little bit but not for long periods of time. I kept using it more and more and still the pain was there most of the time. So I called my doctor back. I needed an opinion from my actual doctor, Dr. John Roof. He has been indispensable as my MS is progressed. I’ve been disappointed by my neurologist and look to Dr. Roof almost entirely now.

Dr. Roof researched the issue and prescribed Gabapentin for the paint. About the same time I went to the dentist to get their opinion. She said Gabapentin was what she would recommend. She thought I had a condition called Trigeminal Neuralgia. I came home and looked it up online. I found this condition was obviously what I had. I’m not sure what the first doctor or the specialist were thinking. I am a layman and it was obvious that I had Trigeminal Neuralgia. The gabapentin helps for about six months. After that the pain started coming back.

I called the doctor again to report the pain. They increase the dosage. That helped a little but the pain still lingered. I called again to ask what the next step is. I got an actual call from my doctor that afternoon. I just think the world of Dr. Roof. How many times do you get to actually speak to a doctor on the phone? He suggested either an increase in Gabapentin or a new medication. The new medication is actually anti-seizure medication that is found to be effective for my condition. I have a pretty good supply of Gabapentin. I could always go back to it so I decided to try the new medication.

I’m on the second day of taking it. I’m still taking Gabapentin and decreasing the dosage each day, tapering off. The new medication I have to ramp up from a small dose to a little higher does each day. Right now the pain is nowhere near as bad. I still have a lingering pain in my cheek. It is more of a pain than a feeling of electric shock. I consider this a big improvement and hope for continuation. If you are a praying person please pray for me. Thank you!

Facebook memory – five years ago

This picture showed up on Facebook this morning. It says it was from five years ago. Seems like just yesterday. I think this was the last time I went out in a kayak. My son Dan, paddled me around the Wapsi River on a gorgeous cool fall day. I think it was in the 40s that day and very breezy. Thank you Dan for the memories.

I’m so blessed to have three wonderful sons. They each care for me in different ways and I’m glad for everything each of them does.

MS Symptoms

At the bottom of this blog there is a page that discusses the progression of my disease. Feel free to read it if you have time. Today I wanted to mention some of the cognitive problems I have been facing lately due to MS. Fortunately these have been very late coming.

As an example I woke up this morning and it took me literally five minutes to decide if it was Thursday, Friday or Saturday. After some time I concluded it was Thursday. Then for some reason I kept thinking it was Wednesday until I open my iPad and saw it was Thursday. Not really a big deal but it shows some of the issues that come with MS. I know age has some effect but this is above and beyond that.

At night, when I am in bed, I think of many things to post on my blog. The next day I can remember none of them. I need to start making a note in my iPad or iPhone when I think of these things so I have them the next day. I want to make my blog somewhat interesting so people will read it. Mostly it is just an outlet for me. Gives me something to strive for each day and I feel a sense of accomplishment when I add something to it. It is an extra blessing when I see that other people have read.

Today I added information to my profile. Now I am pretty please with myself. I can muster up about an hours worth of PC time before my right hand curls up in a ball. Then I can no longer use the mouse pad. Then it's tilt back and rest. after an hour of holding my head up to speak into the microphone my neck is very sore and needs rest.

The Book of Revelation

Recently I’ve been reading the book of Revelation. Many people find this book difficult and intimidating. I am one of those people. Years ago I read ministry about revelation and that made it a lot clearer at the time. Unfortunately I don’t remember much that and so I am back to being not very sure. I do remember there was a verse in the first chapter that delineates what follows into three parts.

This is the verse: “Write the things which thou hast seen, and the things which are, and the things which shall be hereafter;” Revelation 1:19 KJV

So I see the book broke out into three sections. What John has seen, the things which are, and things which will be afterwards. The letters to the churches seem clear enough. I have read that they are prophetic in relation to the church on earth. The first ones follow the early church historically. The last ones continue until the Lord's return. In all of these there is reward for personal faithfulness regardless of the outward condition of the professing church. Jesus said behold I stand at the door knock if any man open to me I will come in to him. There is always a call to the individual. Answering that call is faith.

When he gets to the part about beasts, elders and angels with vials I must admit I am out of my element. What I do get from these chapters is that those with faith who follow the Lamb will be rewarded. Those who oppose the Lamb will face tribulation as no one has ever faced on earth. It is so bad men cry out to the mountains to cover them so that the Lamb cannot find them.

I can’t say I have a very firm grasp on revelation. As I put these thoughts down they seem pretty feeble. I may write more on Revelation as I get to the end of the book.

health insurance

 

Just to balance out some of the things I posted about health insurance I should mention there have been some positive outcomes. When it is something in the normal course of healthcare like injuries or when I had my bladder stone and infection, insurance has been fine. It is in the nonstandard things like my MS condition brings up that health insurance falls down. They’re supposed to be the experts and make all the rules but they don’t know anything about my disease. It adds a level of frustration.

You Gotta Be Kidding Me – ESPN College Football

Most days I turned the TV on after Matt goes to work near 2:00 PM. I have ESPN sports on around that time. There is a college football report and I find it pretty ridiculous. Ever since they started the football playoff of four teams, that’s all those knuckleheads can talk about! All they talk about is undefeated teams and whether they’ll make the four team playoff. The other subject is whether one loss Alabama can make the playoffs!

That’s all they talk about anymore. They seem to have missed what was awesome about college football was all the different levels teams could achieve that were significant. They could win their division. They could win their conference. They could when the rivalry games. They could win their bowl games. They could qualify for a bowl game. These guys seem to have missed all the other opportunities college football provides.

All they talk about is the four team playoff and then they show commercials for other games that aren’t for teams that can make the playoffs. I don’t understand why they think I would want to watch those games after the only thing they think is important is the four team playoff! When this show comes on I now mute the TV and either read or transcribe to my PC. Thanks ESPN for giving me something better to do than listen to your drivel!

Sheri and a sad insurance story (corrected)

Yesterday I saw on Facebook that a former coworker name to Sheri was going to a rehab facility in Ankeny. This is a good news/bad news item. Good news is she's improving and rehab looks promising over the long term. This is a good news bad news The bad news is she can no longer attend the rehab at St. Luke’s Hospital here in her hometown area. This was due to insurance considerations.

I think I know how they feel. Is bad enough to lose your health and deal with a medical condition. It’s even worse when you find out that you are now the enemy of your health insurance company. In my case I have paid in and been part of medical insurance for 40 years. When I started to lose my health I found out that the people who were there to help me viewed me as the enemy. This is no exaggeration. We had United healthcare when I was first diagnosed and I thought they were bad. When I needed a power wheelchair they thought it was fine for me to travel 300 miles across the state to stay within the network. That took months to straighten out and I purchased a used power chair in the interim. It is pretty bad when you have to buy something used so that you can wait for the insurance company to do what they are supposed to.

The absolute worst company was Coventry. They were literally insulting to me. It was their reactions that made me realize my work career was coming to an end. They did not want to do anything to help me. All I heard from them was they existed as a company for profit and that was their number one concern. Obama care reinforces this attitude. I got into a major hassle with them over a medication to help me stay awake so I could keep working.

After being insulted and ignored and proceeding on my own I decided I was no longer going to try to keep the cost down of my medical treatment. Because of their attitude I decided to proceed with a new wheelchair that tilted the seat. I had already purchased one used and knew I needed one but they did not care that I bought a used one on my own to save them money. I was just another dumb customer than needed to provide premiums. I’m glad I pursued the wheelchair because I really did need it and this one fits me so much better than the used one I purchased.

My hope is that Sheri and Kelly her husband get treated a little better but this latest move to Ankeny tells me they’re just beginning this difficult part of the journey. I would have to say that the worst part about losing my health has been dealing with health insurance.

This link should take you to her gofundme.com page if you would like to do that.

Hebrews chapter 1

Matt helped me set up my PC a little better. I can download apps now. I was really excited to download the YouVerse app which is the Bible app I use with my iPad. I had hoped to make it easier to post Bible verses on my blog. I’m disappointed to find out I can’t copy the text like I can on my iPad. I still have to select it on my iPad app and email it to myself. Then copy it and paste it into Word. Then on to the blog. Pretty tedious and challenges my abilities but it is what it is.

I find it easier to read on my PC since it is much larger than my iPad. I am reading in Revelation on my iPad and now reading one of my favorites “Hebrews” on my PC. Every chapter in Hebrews makes my heart sing. Today I read the first chapter and these first few verses are dramatic and seem to shout out to me:

“God, who at sundry times and in diverse manners spake in time past unto the fathers by the prophets, Hath in these last days spoken unto us by his Son, whom he hath appointed heir of all things, by whom also he made the worlds; Who being the brightness of his glory, and the express image of his person, and upholding all things by the word of his power, when he had by himself purged our sins, sat down on the right hand of the Majesty on high;”
Hebrews 1:1-3 KJV

I have no doubts that Hebrews was written by the apostle Paul. He was a Hebrew of Hebrews and highly schooled in things pertaining to the Old Testament. In Hebrews the author brings up the things that pertain to Judaism and shows the supremacy of Christ!

strange disease

The strangeness of this disease (progressive MS) still amazes me. I’m pretty sure one could never make up the symptoms we deal with. As an example, Monday and Tuesday morning I dealt with quite a few spasms in the morning before my wife got me up. One spasm leads my legs to both pull up and shake. It actually feels good for my legs to move. When I finally get them back down and straight then they spasm and jackknife out. Then they shake. This is not very comfortable and I fear my calves will cramp but so far they haven’t. Another spasm is in my shoulders and back. The spasm leads both shoulders to go toward each other and my neck and back curl up like a fetal position. My arms go out and shake.

These disturb the cat more than me. She is usually asleep on my hip, legs or stomach. The spasms make her annoyed and she leaves. The things this poor cat has to deal with! I also noticed Monday and Tuesday morning my right arm and shoulder were stiffer than normal. My right hand and pointer finger did not work very well. I thought perhaps I was getting too warm and toasty under the covers. So today when my wife got up to go to work at six-ish I took the blanket off me so only the sheet remained.

I awoke this morning to many less spasms. My shoulders, arms and right hand were more pliable. Maybe I was getting too warm in the mornings. One of the issues is “who knows”. Too many times there is no rhyme or reason to the symptoms. One day can be one way and the next day different. The engineer in me thinks the disease should manifest the same symptoms all the time or not at all. Strange disease. So many diseases are worse so I try not to feel sorry for myself. Self-pity is my enemy, that I’m sure of.

I can still function enough to be home by myself. This is a great blessing to me. I can still maneuver during the day. I can still run my iPad. Most days I can run my PC. These are not without frustration but I’m glad I can still function somewhat. Most times I feel like the Black Knight in Monty Python and the Holy Grail. That was one of my all-time favorite movies. After losing both legs and arms in a battle to protect his forest he yells at the other knights “come back you cowards I’ll bite your legs off”. He wasn’t a very good fighter but he was no quitter.

Thank you for reading this and I hope to post more in the future.

Book Report – White Seed

Last week I finished a book called “White Seed”. This book was a fiction based on actual history. It was the story of the Roanoke colony in the New World before Jamestown. I had never heard of the Roanoke colony until I read this book. The colony was started due to the influence of Sir Walter Raleigh an English Lord. The story follows John White who was governor of that colony, his family and compatriots. John White’s history is known and formed the basis for this account.

Due to causes outside of his control he had to leave the colony and return to England. While he was there he could not get back to Roanoke for over two years. When he returns all the people (numbering over 100 when he left) were gone. The only trace left were the  deteriorated and destroyed buildings in the Fort. Some dead bodies were found but not enough to account for the number he left behind. It is a mystery that has never been solved. The book presents a fictionalized version of what happened in John White’s absence.

The story starts in England in the book follows Maggie and John. Maggie and John had worked for a and English cooper. Following Maggie’s rape by the cooper, John beat the cooper severely and we find out later killed him without Maggie’s knowledge. Maggie and John are chased by the cooper’s brother Sheridan. Maggie and John gain places on a ship heading to the New World (Roanoke Island). After John’s violence Maggie sees him in a different light and draws away from him. Maggie’s placing on the ship was to John White’s household (Roanoke mayor) and tends to John White’s daughter who is expecting.

The long journey to Roanoke Island is made longer by a stop in the Caribbean. The captain wanted to prey on Spanish ships and the accompanying riches. Finally they are off to Roanoke Island. The plan is to pick up the few troops that were left behind on the previous expedition. Then head north to the Chesapeake Bay area. John White realized there were burnt bridges the previous year at Roanoke Island. The captain of the troops was a bloodthirsty man and his cold-blooded treatment of the local friendly Indians meant they had no more allies on their return. There was a group of Indians that were very unfriendly to the settlers and one that was friendly. The bloodthirsty captain did not differentiate between the two. It was thought best to head north and find a friendlier place to reside.

When they arrive at Roanoke Island they find it empty. It was thought the soldiers were either killed or carried off as slaves. Then their plan to head to a friendlier area was thwarted. The ship’s captain decided to leave them there while he sought out more Spanish treasure. He left them behind and promised to return in a few months. Of course that never happened and they were trapped.

There was so much intrigue it’s hard to condense it. There were a number of factions in this community of about 100 people. There were the soldiers, the settlers and an administrative group made up mostly of Sir Walter Raleigh’s representatives. This group was there to find gold and their efforts to do this lead to disastrous consequences. John White tried a reasonable approach to find a safer area but the group of representatives kept them there even though it was unsafe.

The missing captain did return but there was no time left to take them north because of stormy seas. The group of gold seekers manipulated things so John White was sent back to England with the original group of ships. It took months to get there and when John White got there he found there was a moratorium on ships heading away from England. War with Spain was expected.

When war happened with Spain John White had no way of getting the needed ships to head to the New World and rescue his family and the other settlers. This went on for about two years. The book sets forth the decline and ruin of the existing settlement. The soldier faction “goes off the reservation” and takes over and makes things impossible with the local Indians.

The starvation and soldiers killing makes it difficult. The book is very well done but sad at the same time. Eventually John White does return but I won’t mention anything about that. I don’t want to ruin the book's ending.

Atlas Visits – Near the End of October Story 2

During the visit already mentioned above there was another hilarious interaction. Atlas was in his favorite spot on the couch. Macy was in her favorite spot on the back of the other couch. Matt was over petting Macy. Matt called Atlas over so he could supervise Atlas approaching Macy. He jumped up on the couch and in his eagerness tried to sniff her and probably lick her. He doesn’t have a bad bone in his body and only wants to sniff the kitty and lick her to show he loves her.

When he got too close she didn’t get up but just flopped over backwards, hissed at him and started hitting him with both paws. She gave him the old one-two. He moved back a little. She almost fell over backwards but caught herself. She stayed in the same spot looking quite pleased with herself and her further training of the silly dog!