A while ago I posted some thoughts I had on the story of the prodigal son which is in Luke 15. In it I discussed the prodigal, the father and the people who lived in a far country. As I reread this chapter and think what amazing things are here? Such a simple story and yet it is filled with the never-ending source of instruction on God's heart and also on different ways people react to the "Father".
To refresh this story talks about the prodigal "which represents a sinner", of which Romans tells us that we all are. The prodigal desire to get away from his father and he goes to live with people were far from the father and is likely never had any desire to seek about.
So I have mentioned 3 of the 5 groups are characters in this story (I'm not sure it is a parable because Jesus started out with "a certain man had 2 sons") I believe from this that this actually happened. So when this story there are 3 main characters. The father, the prodigal son and the faithful son. There also to other groups that I think are worth mentioning and the 1st is the people in the far country. The 2nd is the father servants. Somehow I don't think any of these can be overlooked and we can find instruction in all 5. Most people know of the "prodigal" and now we returned to the father. Many people mention it but don't really know or have read the Bible that teaches about it.
While not looking into it today hoping to follow up later I hope to address the 2 missing groups from my 1st post. It was a few weeks ago so you may want to refresh yourself with. I hope to finish up my thoughts by the end of this week and hopefully I have enough ooph to get it done. Unfortunately I have to be in the right frame of mind to tie my breathing and my speech as well as proofread. Lately my voice software as been frustrating me every day. There are so many words I don't dare use and there are so many that I assume are simple words but they don't transcribe correctly. It takes a lot of work to correct either by the voice software or by the virtual keyboard. Well enough of my whining, I hope to take this up again soon.
Phil and Macy
Tuesday, October 31, 2017
Monday, October 30, 2017
I May Try to Find a Cat
A few weeks ago my wife showed me a dog video of a small dog that was available for adoption. We applied through this agency called Last Hope. They had a dog adoption event at a local Pet Smart store. They did not have his dog with them so we're able to discuss it with their staff. We were told that had already applied for adoption but they would let us know. Friday I was looking on their website and saw that dog was gone so I think someone adopted it. All the rest of their dogs are too large to be lapdogs but they were all well behaved and well mannered. I was amazed at the pitbull mixes were the most affectionate dogs that they had. We took Atlas with us and the made friends with all the dogs. He seemed very frustrated though because we would let them off his leash to play with the other dogs so he got to go to the dog park afterwards.
While we were at Pet Smart Matt drove me over to look at the kittens. Many of them more 6 months old so they weren't really kittens anymore. While we were looking at one in particular he kept licking its paws just like Macy would and then look at us like we are annoying her. While this was going on I started thinking I am probably more of a cat person even though I like dogs. Dogs used to not like me until I got MS. I think maybe I am a nonthreatening person now in this made the difference.
Friday I was looking at their cat adoptions and found they do not list whether the cat is declawed or not. With me not being able to move it seems best to have a declawed cat, at least on the front paws. Indoor cat seem better off being declawed in the front but so many cats that could be placed easier if they were declawed. The shelters are so full of cats it seems better to me that they go through getting declawed rather than putting them down because there are just too many cats. So we did find a cat by emailing them and asking if they had any that were declawed. There is one that we are interested in and I think we will see if we can meet it. I'm a little afraid of getting a cat because they are so individualistic. I can't compare it to Macy as far as become attached to me because she was unique and the timing was perfect. It would be nice to have another animal around. Hopefully it will like sleeping on top of me because I really miss that. I'll keep you posted because it is not a short process with Last Hope.
The one thing that makes my church for cat difficult is the issue of declawing. I agree that it is a negative thing to do but many indoor cats really should be declawed. In my situation it is a must. I don't want a kitten and they recover from declawing in a day or 2. Please older is a very long recovery for an adult cat so I need one that is already declawed. I'm finding that almost all of the shelter cats are not declawed. My quandary is this - is a cat better off getting declawed or being put down because there are just too many cats and not enough people?
While we were at Pet Smart Matt drove me over to look at the kittens. Many of them more 6 months old so they weren't really kittens anymore. While we were looking at one in particular he kept licking its paws just like Macy would and then look at us like we are annoying her. While this was going on I started thinking I am probably more of a cat person even though I like dogs. Dogs used to not like me until I got MS. I think maybe I am a nonthreatening person now in this made the difference.
Friday I was looking at their cat adoptions and found they do not list whether the cat is declawed or not. With me not being able to move it seems best to have a declawed cat, at least on the front paws. Indoor cat seem better off being declawed in the front but so many cats that could be placed easier if they were declawed. The shelters are so full of cats it seems better to me that they go through getting declawed rather than putting them down because there are just too many cats. So we did find a cat by emailing them and asking if they had any that were declawed. There is one that we are interested in and I think we will see if we can meet it. I'm a little afraid of getting a cat because they are so individualistic. I can't compare it to Macy as far as become attached to me because she was unique and the timing was perfect. It would be nice to have another animal around. Hopefully it will like sleeping on top of me because I really miss that. I'll keep you posted because it is not a short process with Last Hope.
The one thing that makes my church for cat difficult is the issue of declawing. I agree that it is a negative thing to do but many indoor cats really should be declawed. In my situation it is a must. I don't want a kitten and they recover from declawing in a day or 2. Please older is a very long recovery for an adult cat so I need one that is already declawed. I'm finding that almost all of the shelter cats are not declawed. My quandary is this - is a cat better off getting declawed or being put down because there are just too many cats and not enough people?
Sunday, October 29, 2017
MS – some things I wonder about
Once in a while I feel obligated to post something about MS on my blog. As I mentioned, in the past I tended to just try to ignore it because when I think about what I've lost it is somewhat depressing. I have a lot of things that are good to think about so I try to think about those. This morning my wife was getting me dressed she rolled me over onto my stomach so she could pull my shirt down in the back. Then she rolled me back and I lay there looking at the ceiling fan for what seems like the thousandth time. I laid there while she got my chair in position so she could lift me into it.
As I laid there I thought of how I feel like I'm a baby who crawled into a 200 pound body and has to have everything done for me. It made me think of "how did I get this bad". Until I was diagnosed in 2009 I never even heard of this type of MS. It also has advanced from me being able to walk with a limp in 2009, to being more or less a complete quadriplegic now. When I was in my 40's I always felt like I was pretty healthy. In 1999 I graduated with the help of my employer from a two-year program at our community college. This was part of the agreement for me being promoted to "application engineer". At that time I weighed over 250 pounds and after no more school I had time to go to the gym. I started to lose weight and eat a low-fat diet. Each year I would be more and more healthy. It was about that time I started noticing problems with my walking and just assumed it was from working out too much. So I tried more exercise focusing on the weak side and eating better and better. More vegetables and fruits. As my weight dropped and I became more and more health focused my MS was progressing. Seems like the healthier I tried to be, the worse I got.
One thing I found about losing weight is that there are stages on the cellular level. You could lose weight by shrinking the fat cells fairly quickly. One problem with that is that as long as that fat cells are there it goes back up fairly easily. I found it took months of being at a weight before it became "stable". So there were steps in my weight loss like say I lost 10 pounds. One weekend of overeating and boom it would be back. I found I needed to stay at that weight for number of months for my body to eliminate those fat cells and the weight loss became part of me. So it took quite a few years to go from 250 down to about 170. I was running regularly, biking quite often and kayaking a lot. Strangely though during this time my MS got worse and worse.
I had a theory I shared with my neurologist. My theory was that my body stored toxins in the fat cells and as I kept weight off my body would eventually eliminate those cells freeing up the pesticides to find a new home in my body. I told him I thought this was what was causing my MS symptoms and perhaps I made my MS worse or caused it. He told me it wasn't true but then they can't tell you what causes it so I'm not sure how he can say for certain that I'm not right. The end result was that as I kept getting "healthier" I kept getting weaker and more pathetic. I still wonder if had I stayed fat it would've been better off but of course is no way of knowing.
At this point it doesn't really matter what caused it or accelerated it. I'm in a wheelchair and have accepted this except for losing my right hand. I hope they figure out what causes it so that my children do not have to go through this. They say it's not genetic and I hope that is true. The doctor can't tell me why my MS has advanced so far and so fast. I've tried supplements and other types of eating things and while I was using them I got worse faster than the other guys I know who had my type. They are still able to walk while I kept going down hill so fast. Right now I feel fortunate that I can still be here by myself and we adjusted the controls on my chair so that I'm not able to accidentally drive around. Take care dear reader. It's always good to count your blessings. No matter how bad I am I still have many things to be appreciative of.
As I laid there I thought of how I feel like I'm a baby who crawled into a 200 pound body and has to have everything done for me. It made me think of "how did I get this bad". Until I was diagnosed in 2009 I never even heard of this type of MS. It also has advanced from me being able to walk with a limp in 2009, to being more or less a complete quadriplegic now. When I was in my 40's I always felt like I was pretty healthy. In 1999 I graduated with the help of my employer from a two-year program at our community college. This was part of the agreement for me being promoted to "application engineer". At that time I weighed over 250 pounds and after no more school I had time to go to the gym. I started to lose weight and eat a low-fat diet. Each year I would be more and more healthy. It was about that time I started noticing problems with my walking and just assumed it was from working out too much. So I tried more exercise focusing on the weak side and eating better and better. More vegetables and fruits. As my weight dropped and I became more and more health focused my MS was progressing. Seems like the healthier I tried to be, the worse I got.
One thing I found about losing weight is that there are stages on the cellular level. You could lose weight by shrinking the fat cells fairly quickly. One problem with that is that as long as that fat cells are there it goes back up fairly easily. I found it took months of being at a weight before it became "stable". So there were steps in my weight loss like say I lost 10 pounds. One weekend of overeating and boom it would be back. I found I needed to stay at that weight for number of months for my body to eliminate those fat cells and the weight loss became part of me. So it took quite a few years to go from 250 down to about 170. I was running regularly, biking quite often and kayaking a lot. Strangely though during this time my MS got worse and worse.
I had a theory I shared with my neurologist. My theory was that my body stored toxins in the fat cells and as I kept weight off my body would eventually eliminate those cells freeing up the pesticides to find a new home in my body. I told him I thought this was what was causing my MS symptoms and perhaps I made my MS worse or caused it. He told me it wasn't true but then they can't tell you what causes it so I'm not sure how he can say for certain that I'm not right. The end result was that as I kept getting "healthier" I kept getting weaker and more pathetic. I still wonder if had I stayed fat it would've been better off but of course is no way of knowing.
At this point it doesn't really matter what caused it or accelerated it. I'm in a wheelchair and have accepted this except for losing my right hand. I hope they figure out what causes it so that my children do not have to go through this. They say it's not genetic and I hope that is true. The doctor can't tell me why my MS has advanced so far and so fast. I've tried supplements and other types of eating things and while I was using them I got worse faster than the other guys I know who had my type. They are still able to walk while I kept going down hill so fast. Right now I feel fortunate that I can still be here by myself and we adjusted the controls on my chair so that I'm not able to accidentally drive around. Take care dear reader. It's always good to count your blessings. No matter how bad I am I still have many things to be appreciative of.
Thursday, October 26, 2017
Communication problems
I probably already mentioned this before but my MS affects my breathing diaphragm and has weakened it significantly. This probably wouldn't be as big a deal except I have had sinus problems my whole life. Since I said leaning back now in my chair my sinuses tend to drain back into my breathing system. I would say that I am a phlegm monster. I did some research and found that many of the products on the market would work if I used the version that had – D on the end. This bed it was a decongestant. I tried using some over-the-counter and found a helped but I still had many days where I spent the whole day coughing and coughing and coughing. Went to the doctor a few weeks ago to discuss my options and she prescribed me one of the over-the-counter products with the decongestant. You might wonder why need a prescription, it is because the law only allows purchase of this product for 3 weeks. Then you have to wait. Of course if you need more they suspect you are making meth and so I needed a doctor's prescription. Strangely though is not covered by insurance because it is "available over-the-counter". So now I take 2 of these a day and after 5 days I am more or less alleviated of the constant coughing. I still have some drainage but it's only about 10% what it used to be. I guess I'm counting this as a win.
So one of my biggest problems is communication and the constant coughing was a real hindrance. I still have problems speaking with background noise because by diaphragm is still weak. I find it difficult to talk loud enough for anyone to hear me. I also have hearing problems in my left ear and have difficulty hearing other people. Between these 2 things which is a combination of MS problems and old-age problems and find I am more isolated because whenever we go anywhere there is always background noise so I have trouble being involved in conversations. I feel bad because I want to be involved and it frustrates other people when I can't hear them. At least some of the phlegmy cough is now abated. When other barriers are speaking is from my trigeminal neuralgia procedure called a rhizotomy. To eliminate the trigeminal pain they burned the nerve bundle and because of this the right side of my face especially around my mouth is numb. This makes it more difficult to talk clearly and what I hear in my head is not always what comes out clearly. So between these 3 things I find communication difficult. When I'm around other people I find I want to enjoy their company but am very frustrated by my problems. Many times I have to communicate to my wife and she can sort of understand me and read my lips a little bit. Then she tried to tell somebody what I said. I think it ends up being frustrating for everyone involved and I found it works out best buy just sit there quietly and my wife feeds me and lets me have a beer or 2.
So one of my biggest problems is communication and the constant coughing was a real hindrance. I still have problems speaking with background noise because by diaphragm is still weak. I find it difficult to talk loud enough for anyone to hear me. I also have hearing problems in my left ear and have difficulty hearing other people. Between these 2 things which is a combination of MS problems and old-age problems and find I am more isolated because whenever we go anywhere there is always background noise so I have trouble being involved in conversations. I feel bad because I want to be involved and it frustrates other people when I can't hear them. At least some of the phlegmy cough is now abated. When other barriers are speaking is from my trigeminal neuralgia procedure called a rhizotomy. To eliminate the trigeminal pain they burned the nerve bundle and because of this the right side of my face especially around my mouth is numb. This makes it more difficult to talk clearly and what I hear in my head is not always what comes out clearly. So between these 3 things I find communication difficult. When I'm around other people I find I want to enjoy their company but am very frustrated by my problems. Many times I have to communicate to my wife and she can sort of understand me and read my lips a little bit. Then she tried to tell somebody what I said. I think it ends up being frustrating for everyone involved and I found it works out best buy just sit there quietly and my wife feeds me and lets me have a beer or 2.
Wednesday, October 25, 2017
MS – a long strange trip!
I think by now I have mentioned it how strange MS is for me and everyone else I know of. It's been almost a year since I lost the use of my right hand which is been the last thing to go. Now some days I am able to get my hand on the tilt and recline control but I cannot drive my chair. Most days I move my coffee cup a little bit to get the straw in my mouth if I am alone. Sometimes this takes 10 minutes but I am usually determined to get my coffee. Yes I love coffee! I didn't start drinking until I was in my 30s. Even decaffeinated has some caffeine in it so I don't get to drink it after 2 PM. So now I use voice control and smile mouse to do anything on my computer. This takes a lot of breath and is very hard to correct. Sometimes it takes what I'm saying as a command and opens up a different app. Sometimes when I want to correct something it just adds new words. It also picks up my breathing and puts in the word will. So now I will try to describe my current state.
I told my wife last night they alternate between apathy, anger and sadness. I wish I could add gladness to list but to be honest it doesn't seem to show up very often. I'm always glad when my wife gets home from work so I guess I do have some of it. I don't mind being alone for the most part but really enjoy her company now and I always have. We first started dating my friends were mad because I was "whipped". I would just tell them that if they were more interesting than her I would spend time with them. I still went trout fishing a lot with my friend Mark until he went to graduate school in Michigan State. Then it was just me and my fishing dog Chester. He loved to go and run and run and run.
One strange thing I have found with my current state, is that I miss walking now more than I ever have. I think it is because whenever I had mood swings when I was healthy or was overwhelmed with life I would go on walks. Walking seem to even me out and thinking while I walked tended to make me not be overwhelmed with life. I used to take Chester with me and I taught him to heel so it was a joy taking him. Now that I can't drive my chair and I see people walking their dogs I've started to miss it. I've been in a chair or use the chair most of the time for over 5 years. I really didn't miss it like I do now especially when we get a nice fall day. I loved going for walks in 50 to 60° weather. 40° was okay as long as it wasn't Wednesday.
Thank you for reading my blog, it seems to help me relax to post things especially today I am finding my mood is getting better while I'm doing this. Of course Chester passed away decades ago but it was my first dog and we were very attached to each other. I didn't think I would ever feel that way about dog again. I do now about Atlas. He is much calmer than Chester was but I found have become attached to him in a way I never thought possible.
Back to MS for minute, in closing. MS tends to grind someone down emotionally and mentally. I am very fortunate to have a great group of caregivers and friends. Many of my friends would do anything I asked of them but most of the things I need done are done by my wife and sons. I know a lot of people feel bad that they can't help me but MS is a cruel taskmaster and doesn't care about things like that. Beside my caregivers and friends I have "the comfort of the Scriptures". To be totally honest I'm not sure how I could handle the extreme lows I get without this comfort I get from the Lord. Yesterday I was reading in Psalms again and I notice this verse:
Psalm 27:13 I had fainted, unless I had believed to see the goodness of the Lord...
I believe this Psalm was by King David and he went through many trials. To me is the idea of "fainting" is what I think of as me "giving up". Many times MS makes me want to give up but somehow I'm sustained. I'm glad that I am still around to praise my God who saved me and loves me.
Tuesday, October 24, 2017
My big brave Irish Setter
Today someone posted a video showing a German Shepherd running through a pile of leaves after someone raked them up. It reminded me so much of a story about my dog Chester, the rather large Irish setter that we got right as we got married. So it was over 35 years ago.
Our house that we had in the small town we lived in then had 2 maple trees out front and the neighbors had very large maples that were very old. Because of all these trees we got a lot of leaves in our front yard. I remember one time I raked them up into a big pile and then I hid inside of the pile. My wife let our dog out and he ran around sniffing stuff like he always did, because he was ruled by his nose. When he came near the pile I jumped up and growled with my arms up in the air like a monster. You would think this huge dog wouldn't be afraid of anything and want to protect us but that didn't happen! He ran away yelping all the way around the house to the backyard where he stopped and started barking. He was such a wussy it was hilarious! After he regained his composure in the backyard he slowly walked up to where I was hiding barking. Normally your dog is supposed to make you feel safe but that event put everything in perspective.
Irish Setters have a bit of a cowardly streak in them. I used to go trout fishing and a stream called French Creek. I used to take Chester when I went on a weekday because there was never anyone there and he could just run and run. One time I was very energetic and hiked way upstream further than I'd ever been before. This stream was really long. I got to a spot where there was a barb wire fence and on the other side was herd of cattle but they were far away from the stream so I just went through the fence and started fishing. My goofy dog ran over to a cow that had a calf and started barking at it. I don't know why because he usually didn't bark at livestock. So I look at see him barking and the mother cow put her head down and pawed at the ground. She was going to protect her calf. Then she charged him. Of course now he was scared and was running away and this cow was chasing him. Instead of running to safety he decided to run over by me so I could protect him. So here is huge cow with her head down charging me now. It's not easy to go through a barb wire fence in a hurry but I did. He followed me through the fence and we were safe. I scolded him over and over for running to me when he was in a dangerous situation. He was never very good with livestock and there are more stories I can tell about him. Today I don't have the energy left to do it. Maybe some other time.
Our house that we had in the small town we lived in then had 2 maple trees out front and the neighbors had very large maples that were very old. Because of all these trees we got a lot of leaves in our front yard. I remember one time I raked them up into a big pile and then I hid inside of the pile. My wife let our dog out and he ran around sniffing stuff like he always did, because he was ruled by his nose. When he came near the pile I jumped up and growled with my arms up in the air like a monster. You would think this huge dog wouldn't be afraid of anything and want to protect us but that didn't happen! He ran away yelping all the way around the house to the backyard where he stopped and started barking. He was such a wussy it was hilarious! After he regained his composure in the backyard he slowly walked up to where I was hiding barking. Normally your dog is supposed to make you feel safe but that event put everything in perspective.
Irish Setters have a bit of a cowardly streak in them. I used to go trout fishing and a stream called French Creek. I used to take Chester when I went on a weekday because there was never anyone there and he could just run and run. One time I was very energetic and hiked way upstream further than I'd ever been before. This stream was really long. I got to a spot where there was a barb wire fence and on the other side was herd of cattle but they were far away from the stream so I just went through the fence and started fishing. My goofy dog ran over to a cow that had a calf and started barking at it. I don't know why because he usually didn't bark at livestock. So I look at see him barking and the mother cow put her head down and pawed at the ground. She was going to protect her calf. Then she charged him. Of course now he was scared and was running away and this cow was chasing him. Instead of running to safety he decided to run over by me so I could protect him. So here is huge cow with her head down charging me now. It's not easy to go through a barb wire fence in a hurry but I did. He followed me through the fence and we were safe. I scolded him over and over for running to me when he was in a dangerous situation. He was never very good with livestock and there are more stories I can tell about him. Today I don't have the energy left to do it. Maybe some other time.
Monday, October 23, 2017
Pet adoption event
Someday I'll get back to posting about serious things but it seems like animals and keep filling up my freethinking time. Over a week ago my wife found a dog online with the local group called "Last Hope animal shelter". We're thinking about a small dog instead of another cat. My 1st cat we had back before we got married didn't live to be 10. Macy was only 11 so were thinking maybe a small dog be a better choice. We filled out an application online and so far have not heard back. The dog my wife noticed was very mild-mannered, quiet and fairly small. This group had an adoption event for dogs at a local pet store on Saturday so we decided to go thinking maybe there was another dog there would work out. We got to meet a number of the staff and we took Atlas along and he made friends with each of the dogs there which I think surprise them. That is one of their big concerns is the ability for the pet to get along with existing pets. There were 3 pitbull mixes and Atlas made friends with each of them.
I am amazed how affectionate these pitbull mixes are. If I could live with a bigger dog I would happily adopt one. The most affectionate one was named Gemma. She jumped up on the arm of my chair to meet me and she is a sweetheart. She is not a young dog a would make a great addition to many people. One thing I did notice is that there descriptions of the website mentioned that most pitbull mixes shouldn't go to homes with cats. Cats must trigger some sort of negative behavior or aggressiveness. Atlas on the other hand loves everybody and everything.
We talked to one of the staff about our application and out we were interested in the little dog. It wasn't there and she said there was an adoption pending on it but she would check and see how that was going. I thought it was good that we met the staff because now they see my condition and that I need a companion type animal to replace Macy and that Atlas will get along with anything. She did mention a cat that they had gotten so who knows, maybe will end up with a cat. We did go over and look at the cats for adoption through the store and one of them was licking her paws. Matt tried to get her attention through the plastic and she just looked up at him like "what do you want, I'm kind of busy here". That attitude reminded me up Macy. We have Atlas still June so I'm not sure were in a hurry and animal before he's gone so that they can get used to each other. Maybe someday I'll get serious again but lately I have had a "I don't really care much" attitude. All in all I had a fairly quiet weekend and this was really the only outside of the home activity I had. I don't know if it's good or bad but I'm getting to where I don't really care if I ever leave the house. I am glad when I do when it's something activity-based but most of the time this is to go to the doctor. I'm pretty sick of doctors.
I am amazed how affectionate these pitbull mixes are. If I could live with a bigger dog I would happily adopt one. The most affectionate one was named Gemma. She jumped up on the arm of my chair to meet me and she is a sweetheart. She is not a young dog a would make a great addition to many people. One thing I did notice is that there descriptions of the website mentioned that most pitbull mixes shouldn't go to homes with cats. Cats must trigger some sort of negative behavior or aggressiveness. Atlas on the other hand loves everybody and everything.
We talked to one of the staff about our application and out we were interested in the little dog. It wasn't there and she said there was an adoption pending on it but she would check and see how that was going. I thought it was good that we met the staff because now they see my condition and that I need a companion type animal to replace Macy and that Atlas will get along with anything. She did mention a cat that they had gotten so who knows, maybe will end up with a cat. We did go over and look at the cats for adoption through the store and one of them was licking her paws. Matt tried to get her attention through the plastic and she just looked up at him like "what do you want, I'm kind of busy here". That attitude reminded me up Macy. We have Atlas still June so I'm not sure were in a hurry and animal before he's gone so that they can get used to each other. Maybe someday I'll get serious again but lately I have had a "I don't really care much" attitude. All in all I had a fairly quiet weekend and this was really the only outside of the home activity I had. I don't know if it's good or bad but I'm getting to where I don't really care if I ever leave the house. I am glad when I do when it's something activity-based but most of the time this is to go to the doctor. I'm pretty sick of doctors.
Friday, October 20, 2017
Growly Bear
I might have mentioned already but I will mention it again. Atlas is just about the perfect dog. He loves everybody and want to everybody to love him back. The only complaint I have is he barks at lots of stuff. Is I am a protector bark And his "I'm so glad to see you bark" are the same the only difference is his tail. It always starts out with his protector bark and his tail goes straight up and when he sees who it is his tail starts to wag but his barking stays the same. I'm trying a new strategy to help me get a handle on this.
Now when he barks I tell them Barkey Barkey is bad and scold him. He usually comes over and lays act of my chair and bark some but not very much. I keep telling him Barkey Barkey is bad and he seemed to understand. I've started calling him my little growly bear and he seems to really like that. When he growls I tell him Bob a lovely growly bear. This week it is started to seemingly have an effect on them but who knows.
There are things I let him bark at and some I actually tell them to bark at. I think it's okay to bark at the UPS guy or the FedEx guy because they are not regulars. He's not supposed to bark at the mail person but usually does. Sometimes he doesn't though where he just gives a couple halfhearted wolfs and lays back down on the couch.
He loves it when my wife comes home and he follows her around wherever she goes. I call him her little shadow and she is always tripping over him. For a 90 pound dog he is very quiet and when I'm on the bed at night with him you will disappear going to living room with my wife. I really realize he left. We call him the ninja dog.
I told my wife jokingly that my biggest fear with teaching him to be a growly bear is that a black bear mama might walk by and think he is one of her cubs since he is black and about that size. Of course there's little chance of that concern black bears anywhere within 100 miles of us..
Now when he barks I tell them Barkey Barkey is bad and scold him. He usually comes over and lays act of my chair and bark some but not very much. I keep telling him Barkey Barkey is bad and he seemed to understand. I've started calling him my little growly bear and he seems to really like that. When he growls I tell him Bob a lovely growly bear. This week it is started to seemingly have an effect on them but who knows.
There are things I let him bark at and some I actually tell them to bark at. I think it's okay to bark at the UPS guy or the FedEx guy because they are not regulars. He's not supposed to bark at the mail person but usually does. Sometimes he doesn't though where he just gives a couple halfhearted wolfs and lays back down on the couch.
He loves it when my wife comes home and he follows her around wherever she goes. I call him her little shadow and she is always tripping over him. For a 90 pound dog he is very quiet and when I'm on the bed at night with him you will disappear going to living room with my wife. I really realize he left. We call him the ninja dog.
I told my wife jokingly that my biggest fear with teaching him to be a growly bear is that a black bear mama might walk by and think he is one of her cubs since he is black and about that size. Of course there's little chance of that concern black bears anywhere within 100 miles of us..
Thursday, October 19, 2017
More on pets and a little bit about me
I have been off work now for over 3 years. My number 1 fear while I was working was that I would be bored when I got on disability plus the loss of income scared me. I found that when I was off work I really wasn't bored until just recently. I have missed the income the whole time and trust that somehow God will take care of us because I fell short getting prepared us as I had to quit work early. As you know I lost Macy to disease a few weeks ago.
Our sons dog Atlas is here and between us I think we miss the distraction of having a cat. We didn't see a lot of her during the day when she would come out 3 or 4 times to get water or food. The best ones were when she would tear down the hallway sounded like a herd of horses and go over to her scratching post and pound on it. she would I behind the TV stand and look out at the dog.
Now it's just me and Atlas and to be honest he seems bored. I wish I could play with him. I can't even pet him. Some days I have him get up on my left arm of the chair and he licks my face. I don't mind him licking my ears or chin but I hate it when he licks my glasses or my mouth. A lot of the time you sits on the couch with his head on a pillow and stares at me. I feel like I'm letting him down because I think he wants to play. Poor little puppy.
So I started getting bored a few weeks ago are couple months ago. I have the TV on but it is muted and I read the close captioning. There's not really much on it is interesting. I sort of follow the price is right but read the newspaper on my PC at the same time. The only interesting parts now or when they give away a car. Earlier this week they tried to give away a Jaguar but the lady fell short in the game. Today they gave away a Ford fiesta, that seems like a real rip. You win a car but it's a Ford fiesta. I go through my Facebook newsfeed usually while the young and restless is on. I sort of pay attention to the young and restless but some of the characters are so boring I don't really follow it. After I catch up on Facebook that I think about posting on my blog.
I have been very motivated about it since Macy died. For some reason that has given me a I don't care attitude. I'm slowly getting back to thinking about posting more. My wife pointed out a dog on Facebook and that is with the last hope animal shelter. Now I'm thinking about getting a dog. I don't think I want another cat. I was very picky when looking for cat and Macy more or less chose me which made it easy. I help my son look for dogs at the shelter and there were none that would fit in with this lifestyle. He ended up finding a fantastic Labrador. And his breeding was more to me up at the hunting dog and he came from a farm where the family love the puppies and I had a hard time letting them go. The mother was on her 2nd litter. The 1st had 11 puppies and the one Atlas came from at 13 puppies. They won't read the mother anymore because they care about her and don't want her to have another big litter. When we looked at the puppies the whole litter were so calm . I was amazed. I will try to go to a dog adoption event this weekend but I'm not sure if I can find a dog that suits us. I am not in a hurry to get another pet it would be fun to look at adoptable animals. I don't worry about them getting along with Atlas because he is so friendly and everybody loves him. We can take them down to NewBo with us and he is calm and lots of people come over and want to pet him. My wife lets the kids do the biscuit on the nose trick with him. Those kids seem so happy it's hilarious.
Our sons dog Atlas is here and between us I think we miss the distraction of having a cat. We didn't see a lot of her during the day when she would come out 3 or 4 times to get water or food. The best ones were when she would tear down the hallway sounded like a herd of horses and go over to her scratching post and pound on it. she would I behind the TV stand and look out at the dog.
Now it's just me and Atlas and to be honest he seems bored. I wish I could play with him. I can't even pet him. Some days I have him get up on my left arm of the chair and he licks my face. I don't mind him licking my ears or chin but I hate it when he licks my glasses or my mouth. A lot of the time you sits on the couch with his head on a pillow and stares at me. I feel like I'm letting him down because I think he wants to play. Poor little puppy.
So I started getting bored a few weeks ago are couple months ago. I have the TV on but it is muted and I read the close captioning. There's not really much on it is interesting. I sort of follow the price is right but read the newspaper on my PC at the same time. The only interesting parts now or when they give away a car. Earlier this week they tried to give away a Jaguar but the lady fell short in the game. Today they gave away a Ford fiesta, that seems like a real rip. You win a car but it's a Ford fiesta. I go through my Facebook newsfeed usually while the young and restless is on. I sort of pay attention to the young and restless but some of the characters are so boring I don't really follow it. After I catch up on Facebook that I think about posting on my blog.
I have been very motivated about it since Macy died. For some reason that has given me a I don't care attitude. I'm slowly getting back to thinking about posting more. My wife pointed out a dog on Facebook and that is with the last hope animal shelter. Now I'm thinking about getting a dog. I don't think I want another cat. I was very picky when looking for cat and Macy more or less chose me which made it easy. I help my son look for dogs at the shelter and there were none that would fit in with this lifestyle. He ended up finding a fantastic Labrador. And his breeding was more to me up at the hunting dog and he came from a farm where the family love the puppies and I had a hard time letting them go. The mother was on her 2nd litter. The 1st had 11 puppies and the one Atlas came from at 13 puppies. They won't read the mother anymore because they care about her and don't want her to have another big litter. When we looked at the puppies the whole litter were so calm . I was amazed. I will try to go to a dog adoption event this weekend but I'm not sure if I can find a dog that suits us. I am not in a hurry to get another pet it would be fun to look at adoptable animals. I don't worry about them getting along with Atlas because he is so friendly and everybody loves him. We can take them down to NewBo with us and he is calm and lots of people come over and want to pet him. My wife lets the kids do the biscuit on the nose trick with him. Those kids seem so happy it's hilarious.
Sunday, October 15, 2017
Pets – hard to believe how attached you can get.
We lost Macy a few weeks ago to medical issues. Now I'm finding that Atlas as changed a little bit too. He seemed to say with me on the bed and maybe, me a little bit each night. Now that the kitty is not around he doesn't spend as much time with the and is attached to do that whenever she's home. I have gotten the impression he spent time with me because he was jealous of the kitty and he wanted to be on the bed before she came up. When she slept between my legs you would always have his head as closer as he could get without her smacking him with the right paw.
I'm pretty sure I could never find a cat that I could love like I did Macy. She had the softness sweetest little meow you could ever imagine. It mostly sounded like a few squeaks and we called her Squeaky. The best thing was when she would do the "soundless meow". It was as if she was so overcome with distress that she couldn't speak. I can't imagine another cat having her quietness.
I think that we are considering trying to find a dog to be my companion so that when Atlas goes home with Tom next June I have a companion dog. Of course we're going to be extremely picky so I'm not sure it will for happen. Janette will get stuck with all the work and she will probably end up with the pat rather me. Atlas is still somewhat affectionate to me and he gets up on the arm of my chair and gives me kisses with fairly easy commands. He also lays on the couch and his head on a pillow and he stares at me. I called them over the other day and he came and laid by my chair but I don't think that's very comparable for him because it is bare laminate flooring with no soft rug or anything. He still gives me some affection and last night he stayed on the bed sleeping on my arm for about an hour before he came out the living room with my wife.
I'm pretty sure I could never find a cat that I could love like I did Macy. She had the softness sweetest little meow you could ever imagine. It mostly sounded like a few squeaks and we called her Squeaky. The best thing was when she would do the "soundless meow". It was as if she was so overcome with distress that she couldn't speak. I can't imagine another cat having her quietness.
I think that we are considering trying to find a dog to be my companion so that when Atlas goes home with Tom next June I have a companion dog. Of course we're going to be extremely picky so I'm not sure it will for happen. Janette will get stuck with all the work and she will probably end up with the pat rather me. Atlas is still somewhat affectionate to me and he gets up on the arm of my chair and gives me kisses with fairly easy commands. He also lays on the couch and his head on a pillow and he stares at me. I called them over the other day and he came and laid by my chair but I don't think that's very comparable for him because it is bare laminate flooring with no soft rug or anything. He still gives me some affection and last night he stayed on the bed sleeping on my arm for about an hour before he came out the living room with my wife.
Saturday, October 14, 2017
Medical field – a lot of good and some bad.
Besides the hassles from insurance companies because MS does not fit into their structure very well one of my other complaints is about the medical field who I have to educate every time I go except for my primary care physician and my neurologist. Another thing happened the reminded be about the medical field is structured so that I don't fit into it and I end up educating the staff.
Thursday night it did not seem like my catheter was draining when I was put to bed. Sometimes this happens and once the pressure from my bladder gets high enough it overcomes whatever's blocking it and it drains. Friday morning I woke up in a fair amount of pain because my bladder and backed up and was completely full. The pain was quite significant and my wife tried everything we've done in the past clear. She tried "irrigating it" which is squirting water backward to the catheter to open up whatever blockage is there. She was able to put in enough that it should've cleared it but then it still would not drain and now I bladder had the water she put it. We finally came to the realization it was a trip to the ER. It seemed pretty silly to have to go for something that should work because it's as simple as a tube that drains a liquid.
When we got to the ER they check you and and there was hardly anybody there since it was about 3 o'clock in the morning. So we got it pretty quick and there was a nurse at a computer station asking questions. She asked what I considered some strange questions to start out with but a further most of them before. I was asked if I wanted to hurt myself or and my life. I said I suffered from depression because of the MS so I really did no one answer that question. Then she asked me one I had never heard before. She asked "do I ever go to sleep hoping that I don't wake up"? I looked at her and said I'm a quadriplegic of course I go to bed every night hoping to not wake up, to be that the best case scenario. I said probably every quad Oaks for that to happen. Then she asked me if I was going to harm myself and I said there's no way I can so what does that question mean. I don't think I fit in with your questions. She said she had asked those questions by law. I can't tell you are annoyed I was and I ended up treating her pretty harsh telling her I was one happy SOB and then apologized and then I felt bad and apologized for being a grumpy old man.
So far most of my gripes are related to the hospital personnel. I went in for pneumonia ones and had to stay overnight. Since I couldn't move they asked me if I was a fall risk. I said no not really but I am susceptible to being dropped while people transfer me. So they put on my board that I was a fall risk and that cause no end of confusion because the later people thought I could get up and walk. One strange nurse took it upon herself to inspect every square inch of my body for bedsores because I was a quad. An MS quad in a spinal injury quad are 2 totally different things and no one at the hospital seem to grasp that. They would wake me up about every hour and a half to "take my vitals". They kept changing the thermostat that I overheated over and over again and I finally yelled that one nurse to put a note on the thermostat to leave it where it was. They kept sticking me in the stomach with the blood that are because I was a "quad" and I was probably susceptible to blood clots. They came in at 4 o'clock in the morning to draw blood. That I complained because I couldn't sleep and one nurse put her hands on her hips and said "wow I do sleep at home" I said I have an iPad and I read books if I wake up and also somebody's not waking me up every few minutes and poking me with stuff. A didn't seem to care if I got any sleep until the day nurses came in and they left me alone as much as they could. I felt like Randall P Murphy in the movie one flew over the cuckoo's nest!
All in all I'm sure they help more than they hurt but knew less my wife is there to educate them I feel like their victim and really want to avoid ever going to the hospital again. The nurses insinuation the other night that hoping I don't wake up is a bad thing as really made me kind of depressed thinking about it. Is the only way out of MS and it is sure the best case way of going as far as I'm concerned. Maybe taking a nap while I'm here by myself and never waking up might be better. I know my loved ones don't want to lose me but I feel like it's important to remember that "nobody gets out of here alive". So today is Saturday and I got to sleep until 11 o'clock and stayed in bed till 1 PM. Now I feel rested from everything I lost early Friday morning, sleep wise. I sure was a grumpy guy yesterday.
Thursday night it did not seem like my catheter was draining when I was put to bed. Sometimes this happens and once the pressure from my bladder gets high enough it overcomes whatever's blocking it and it drains. Friday morning I woke up in a fair amount of pain because my bladder and backed up and was completely full. The pain was quite significant and my wife tried everything we've done in the past clear. She tried "irrigating it" which is squirting water backward to the catheter to open up whatever blockage is there. She was able to put in enough that it should've cleared it but then it still would not drain and now I bladder had the water she put it. We finally came to the realization it was a trip to the ER. It seemed pretty silly to have to go for something that should work because it's as simple as a tube that drains a liquid.
When we got to the ER they check you and and there was hardly anybody there since it was about 3 o'clock in the morning. So we got it pretty quick and there was a nurse at a computer station asking questions. She asked what I considered some strange questions to start out with but a further most of them before. I was asked if I wanted to hurt myself or and my life. I said I suffered from depression because of the MS so I really did no one answer that question. Then she asked me one I had never heard before. She asked "do I ever go to sleep hoping that I don't wake up"? I looked at her and said I'm a quadriplegic of course I go to bed every night hoping to not wake up, to be that the best case scenario. I said probably every quad Oaks for that to happen. Then she asked me if I was going to harm myself and I said there's no way I can so what does that question mean. I don't think I fit in with your questions. She said she had asked those questions by law. I can't tell you are annoyed I was and I ended up treating her pretty harsh telling her I was one happy SOB and then apologized and then I felt bad and apologized for being a grumpy old man.
So far most of my gripes are related to the hospital personnel. I went in for pneumonia ones and had to stay overnight. Since I couldn't move they asked me if I was a fall risk. I said no not really but I am susceptible to being dropped while people transfer me. So they put on my board that I was a fall risk and that cause no end of confusion because the later people thought I could get up and walk. One strange nurse took it upon herself to inspect every square inch of my body for bedsores because I was a quad. An MS quad in a spinal injury quad are 2 totally different things and no one at the hospital seem to grasp that. They would wake me up about every hour and a half to "take my vitals". They kept changing the thermostat that I overheated over and over again and I finally yelled that one nurse to put a note on the thermostat to leave it where it was. They kept sticking me in the stomach with the blood that are because I was a "quad" and I was probably susceptible to blood clots. They came in at 4 o'clock in the morning to draw blood. That I complained because I couldn't sleep and one nurse put her hands on her hips and said "wow I do sleep at home" I said I have an iPad and I read books if I wake up and also somebody's not waking me up every few minutes and poking me with stuff. A didn't seem to care if I got any sleep until the day nurses came in and they left me alone as much as they could. I felt like Randall P Murphy in the movie one flew over the cuckoo's nest!
All in all I'm sure they help more than they hurt but knew less my wife is there to educate them I feel like their victim and really want to avoid ever going to the hospital again. The nurses insinuation the other night that hoping I don't wake up is a bad thing as really made me kind of depressed thinking about it. Is the only way out of MS and it is sure the best case way of going as far as I'm concerned. Maybe taking a nap while I'm here by myself and never waking up might be better. I know my loved ones don't want to lose me but I feel like it's important to remember that "nobody gets out of here alive". So today is Saturday and I got to sleep until 11 o'clock and stayed in bed till 1 PM. Now I feel rested from everything I lost early Friday morning, sleep wise. I sure was a grumpy guy yesterday.
Wednesday, October 11, 2017
Macy – more memories
When I thinking about posting my blog I started thinking about Macy. I'm not sure when I will start posting about new things right now I just keep thinking about her and how sweet she was. She was kind of a stubborn little mule but we bonded. Night I went to the Cedar Valley humane shelter and essentially she chose me I told the workers there that while they worked on the paperwork I would go to Walmart and buy the things I need I could cat carrier. I found one that was soft sided and thought that would be good. I had read her profile because a person who brought her dropped her off with a lot of information. One thing in there was that she hated to ride in cars. I was walking with a cane then but was still able to put the soft sided cat carrier on my shoulder and peg leg out of their.
I put her on the passenger seat of my vehicle for the 20 minute ride home. After I started moving I heard the cry at her profile described. It was a softest sadness meowing noises I have ever heard and it melted my heart. I ended up unzipping one of the many zippers in this carrier and reaching in with my right hand and scratching her ears and telling her that it was all right. After a few miles she became quiet. I can't say she ever was quiet riding in a car after that a job that night she knew that I met to take her away from the shelter where she was in a cage.
There was a period of time where she got used to our house and my wife and I. To be honest she tended to like my wife a little better. See more of a girls cat and her former owner was a female so that didn't surprise me. Later on I started having a fever and the fever for some reason hammered by MS and I could barely get up to use the bathroom. And up spending 2 days on a futon in the bedroom just outside the bathroom. There was no way I can make it up the stairs to my regular bedroom. During those 2 days Macy never left my side or slept between my knees except to use the litter box or get something to eat and drink. Somehow she knew I needed her like she needed me. After that she was 100% my cat. These are some of the reasons why I don't think I will ever replace because I can't show my love like I could when I 1st got her.
Occasionally is suggested I get another cat but I can't say that will ever happen. When I got her I could take care of for like a feed her and clean her litter box. Scratching her ears and chin and brushing her were very high on her list of requirements. After we got her she would only cry about 2 things. Of course it was a very sad quiet cry. She would cry when she would needed food (that met her bowl was half ball) and when she wanted brushed. We can imagine a more special cat than Macy..
I put her on the passenger seat of my vehicle for the 20 minute ride home. After I started moving I heard the cry at her profile described. It was a softest sadness meowing noises I have ever heard and it melted my heart. I ended up unzipping one of the many zippers in this carrier and reaching in with my right hand and scratching her ears and telling her that it was all right. After a few miles she became quiet. I can't say she ever was quiet riding in a car after that a job that night she knew that I met to take her away from the shelter where she was in a cage.
There was a period of time where she got used to our house and my wife and I. To be honest she tended to like my wife a little better. See more of a girls cat and her former owner was a female so that didn't surprise me. Later on I started having a fever and the fever for some reason hammered by MS and I could barely get up to use the bathroom. And up spending 2 days on a futon in the bedroom just outside the bathroom. There was no way I can make it up the stairs to my regular bedroom. During those 2 days Macy never left my side or slept between my knees except to use the litter box or get something to eat and drink. Somehow she knew I needed her like she needed me. After that she was 100% my cat. These are some of the reasons why I don't think I will ever replace because I can't show my love like I could when I 1st got her.
Occasionally is suggested I get another cat but I can't say that will ever happen. When I got her I could take care of for like a feed her and clean her litter box. Scratching her ears and chin and brushing her were very high on her list of requirements. After we got her she would only cry about 2 things. Of course it was a very sad quiet cry. She would cry when she would needed food (that met her bowl was half ball) and when she wanted brushed. We can imagine a more special cat than Macy..
Tuesday, October 10, 2017
Medical field – love/hate relationship
I just got back from visiting my general practitioner. I have always had sinus problems and drainage backwards into my throat and lungs. It was annoying but now that my diaphragm's affected by MS is hard to cough up the phlegm I I've been doing for 40 years. I found that an over-the-counter decongestant like Claritin – D work fairly well but the pharmacy told my wife she couldn't get it after I had a for 3 weeks. They have rules you know, I'm sure they suspected us of making methamphetamines. They said I needed to get a prescription and that I could get a decongestant.
So now I have a prescription for decongestant. My doctor must know that my wife and I are not making meth. To me it is amazing how stupid some of these medical roles and solutions are. Don't even get me started on insurance! I had to go out in the rain to get to the doctor for what ended up taking about 5 minutes of the doctors time. Most of the time was the nurse updating my computer records. At least my son took me before he went to work so my wife did not have to miss work.
So now I have a prescription for decongestant. My doctor must know that my wife and I are not making meth. To me it is amazing how stupid some of these medical roles and solutions are. Don't even get me started on insurance! I had to go out in the rain to get to the doctor for what ended up taking about 5 minutes of the doctors time. Most of the time was the nurse updating my computer records. At least my son took me before he went to work so my wife did not have to miss work.
Monday, October 9, 2017
National anthem protests – some of my thoughts
There is so much in the the news lately about football players kneeling or holding their fists in the air during the national anthem. I feel I have to voice some opinion about it because of all the controversy that it's generated.
When I was young I took it for granted and could have cared less about that part of sports events. The older I got and the more I learned of other societies and their laws the more precious our rights as US citizens became. By the time I reached my 50s I loved watching the flag flapping in the wind and standing during the night to let them. I always remove my hat but rarely held my hand over my heart because that seemed so much like elementary school where he was required of us. As I lost my physical abilities due to MS I could no longer stand, remove my hat or put my hand on my heart any longer. I miss terribly being able to stand and respect our flag and how rare our government for the people and by the people is in this world.
I would be so glad now to be able to stand for the national anthem. That being said, I think I understand some of these protests and would not forbid them. To me though, it would make more sense if they knelt during the parts they found objectionable which to my understanding is where the natural at them says "land of the free". I sympathize with these non-white races because they are discriminated against, and until the 1960s they were still discriminated against by law. It took John F. Kennedy to start the government to respond to the civil rights protests by Martin Luther King and his assassination. To me this is all contemporary and not really history because I lived through it. I am white and find that it can easily be proven that there is racial discrimination still at work in our country. If these men want to protest, our government allows that. One thing I think that should be against the law is to protest by burning are flag but I don't see that very often. I understand how these other races feel that they are not "free".
When I was younger, 16 to 20, I drove junkers because I could either afford a good car or insurance; I couldn't afford both. I found out what it was like to be "profiled". I can't tell you how many times I was stopped for pretty much a no reason whatsoever. One time this policeman kept arguing with me to prove I had car insurance over and over again. I showed him the papers but he kept saying I probably didn't have insurance since my car was a piece of crap. I told him I can't afford a good car and insurance so I have insurance. He finally after about 10 minutes let me leave. As I grew older and drove nicer cars this profiling stopped. For people of color I know this profiling still goes on. I have to say I'm as guilty as anyone. If I see a black man with baggy pants I assume he is hiding a gun in one of the pockets. Also if I see a black man with a buddy and they're running I think he's fleeing from a criminal event. Part of me is ashamed of feeling this way. I understand there are many issues between cultures that need to be understood. I feel for our policeman who have to make split-second decisions and I would say it would be hard for me to do that too. One thing that really upsets me is when a person is shot and there is no weapon found that put the policeman's life in danger. This seems so wrong and I think there should be a special present for the policemen who shoot unarmed suspects. Armed suspects are in a different class of people.
Friday, October 6, 2017
Minor update
I will probably keep my blog going but I'm not sure if I will have a theme or not. One thing I wanted to report is that the initial benefit I got for my infusion is now gone. My wife thinks it's that the steroids I got during the infusion were what caused the benefit. I read that it takes 3 to 6 months to find out how really works for you. Earlier this week my right arm was totally dead. Yesterday morning I can move it a little bit and raise my elbow up a little bit this morning I was having too many spasm to tell of my right arm worked. rght now I would say it is prevented the disease from advancing and that is its primary purpose. Of course I hope to get some use of my right arm and hand back. It would be great if I could drive my own chair or feed myself in the morning. Right now my wife is feeding me breakfast but I wish I could do it myself so she could get back to work sooner. Time will tell I guess.
It took about a week before I quit having tears because we lost Macy. Now I have to admit I miss her every day especially in the evenings. Even though I hardly saw her the last year or so it was great knowing there was a cat around and she like to tease Atlas. That entertained all of us. I can't say I want another cat because I doubt they'll ever be another one who bonds to me like she did and vice versa. When I got there I could still take care of her but now I can do anything so I don't really think it would be a good idea to get another cat.
It took about a week before I quit having tears because we lost Macy. Now I have to admit I miss her every day especially in the evenings. Even though I hardly saw her the last year or so it was great knowing there was a cat around and she like to tease Atlas. That entertained all of us. I can't say I want another cat because I doubt they'll ever be another one who bonds to me like she did and vice versa. When I got there I could still take care of her but now I can do anything so I don't really think it would be a good idea to get another cat.
Monday, October 2, 2017
Future of my blog
Since I have lost my beautiful and sweet MS kitty, Macy, I am not sure how to proceed in the future with my blog. She was a once-in-a-lifetime pet and she gave me a focus during my MS years that I don't know what I would've done without. So I will mull over it for a while and and try to figure out how I want to proceed. One issue is my voice software and my inability to enunciate well make it very difficult to post without a lot of errors. One problem with the errors is that my eyesight makes it hard to read what's on my screen and so I cannot really see if it posted the correct wording or not. Also correcting it is very difficult now. Many times it will not correct to the voice software and I'm forced to correct by bringing up my virtual keyboard and using Smyle Mouse to type in the correct words. Swinging my head back and forth clicking on the keyboard gives me vertigo and I try to avoid using it if I can. So I imagine I will get bored enough to post something but I'm not sure of my focus now.
I want to mention that we received a beautiful sympathy card from the veterinarian. The veterinarian was a very young and you could tell it broke her heart to see Macy why she was. Most people met Macy loved her and she was a very endearing cat even though she pretended not to be friendly. Was surprised at the length of the writing inside it was more than just your normal "I'm sorry for your loss". It is very touching and appreciated.
I want to mention that we received a beautiful sympathy card from the veterinarian. The veterinarian was a very young and you could tell it broke her heart to see Macy why she was. Most people met Macy loved her and she was a very endearing cat even though she pretended not to be friendly. Was surprised at the length of the writing inside it was more than just your normal "I'm sorry for your loss". It is very touching and appreciated.
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