Memorial concluded

hHave one more I wanted to discuss. My wife made a friend at the church we go to now when we first started going. We started doing things together with her and her husband. Their names were Curt and Lori. Their daughter was in softball in the field was right behind our house. We used to go sit with them and blab and watch the game. Later on we met Kurt's parents who came to the game also. Kurt's dad's nickname was Sugar and his mother's name was Dee. As in the previous story we became their friends by being friends with their children. Sugar was a very entertaining person and always had a story to tell. He came to be a Christian age  late in life and he had decades of living without Jesus so he was a little rough around the edges and his stories were a little on the rough side. This was  not a problem to me because I became a Christian in my 20s and some rough edges that I still struggle with. What was funny was that I had met sugar years before. We lived  near the same town and they had garage sales  in his  area fairly often. I was interested in a tiller he was selling.  we did the old school bargaining. A lot of "I don't know", sliding that hat back and kicking the ground. We were five dollars apart on a very old very worn tiller. It ended with us parting ways until I got to the end of the drive. He called out all right I'll take it and I went back and got the tiller. It had some pretty big problems with leaking oil but it was fine for a small garden. I never was able to repair the leak but used it for 20 years. When we first met Sugar and Dee he seemed familiar that we got to talking and I find out where he lived I asked if he used to have garage sales a lot. After a little bit of back-and-forth he knew that I was the guy who bought the tiller and haggled for it. We both started laughing. After that whenever I saw him it was like we're old friends and we would shoot the breeze tell our wives drug us off. My wife was more friends with Dee for the same thing. Just being friends with their kids made us their friends.
So what I found was that people with good family adhesions were very good at passing those feelings along when the opportunity was there. I felt like I have benefited greatly from the three have mentioned here and along with many I have mentioned. I'm pretty much out of ability to speak so I will sign off now. Thank you again for reading my blog.

Cont...

What follows is in no special order. We found that over the years that some of the friends we made from church and had similar family bonds treated us like friends. It we're friends with their kids we're friends with them. Since I had little solid male companionship growing up will this was very important for me. That brings up the memorial in the newspaper. It was for a man named Roy Wright. Roy had two daughters and one of them, Rhonda went to our church was married to a man named Rod. We met them at a church function and the conversation started out with teasingly insulting Rhonda. Found out later that she was used to dishing it out but rarely got it dished out to her. I have been a person who teased all my life and I could tell somehow that she was too. We became immediate friends and then we met her folks, Roy and Karen. We were helping them get there new house ready to move into. We moved some furniture in and we were taking a break. I noticed the painter was painting French doors. I had painted a half-dozen and found them unbelievably difficult. It was going through it like it was butter. I never seen anyone paint so well and so fast. I commented that to the other guys and was overheard by "the painter". He came over, showed me the brush and made up a story about the edge of the brush. It sounded almost believable but I realized he was pulling my leg. He joined our conversation and spoke like he had known us for years. He left the room then and when it with Karen and her two daughters. Other guys in the group laughed and said you know that is Rods father-in-law. The joke was on me and I found that Roy was as my friend from my whole life. Every time I saw a Roy he talked to me I get bit my friend forever. He was an amazing man and a really enjoyed meeting him and knowing his own family over the years. He left behind a great testimony for his wife and children and now grandchildren.
I am not able to finish today as I had hoped.Too much Trigeimimal pain. It is back. See Neurologist Thursday.

A memorial to some who have passed through

In Sunday's obituary section there was a memorial to a friend of ours father. I started me thinking of all the parents of people we knew and we were friends with and some that we met through our children's involvement in sports. This gave me something to think about all day Sunday and kept me from ending the day as Mr. negative.
The first I will discuss is the most important one to me. It would be my late father-in-law John. I did not have a very good home life after my mother passed away when I was 10. My stepmother never connected with my sister or I and where clearly treated like we were baggage. When I started dating my wife I was 18 years old and had been booted out my father and stepmother's home. On one of our first dates we went up to her parent's cabin and I was surrounded by a loving and caring environment. I couldn't believe how well they got along. Her parents were there of course as well as her father's parents. I was treated like I was royalty. Anyone that was their daughter's friend was their friend also. I had many years and spent a fair amount of time that their father. His influence on me was better than I could ever imagine. He taught me so many things about home repair and was always there when I had something to work on. It's amazing how well you can connect to somebody by working with them. When he had me helping with the cabin for their house I felt I graduated because he trusted me with his own things. Occasionally I have a project that would require a specialized tool from his workshop. I would go down in the basement and do the job. After I was done I would just look around his workshop that all the cool things he had. I bought many tools after that. As he got older he developed heart problems and I would do things to take care of their properties and felt privileged to do so. There are many more things I can say about her father but to sum it up I would say is the most important person I have had in my life besides my wife. He passed a decade or so back and I have missed him more than any other person I can think of beside your mother. He is by far the most important man in my life.
To be continued&

Quick greeting

I have not posted yet this week. I don't usually have the time on the weekends. Yesterday was an odd schedule. The techs came late so my son came and gave me breakfast and coffee around 10. They got me me up around noon, for me in the chair, took me to the living room and fed me lunch I was in my chair until my wife will be the around 7 PM. She put me in bed got me mostly ready and did the file think that 9 PM. Left little time for voice use. I trouble getting by voice software to work correctly and so that got a shot Monday.
Tuesday was the global schedule of my eyesight was person who's ever been had a fading voice. All of a sudden anything bright carried superbright night could not really see much. The outside windows all superbright with no distinction. So was the TV and part of my PC's green. I started to wonder if that was the light people saw and they were dying. I am ready so I said come get me but it was that kind of light. Certainly I am still having bridge been in the evening and have trouble reading this. My voice is all over the place and so I'm not going to post today except to say God bless you dear reader.

Some minor health updates.

Unfortunately some of my trigeminal pain has returned. I started having pain in my right lip so I increased the trigeminal pain med and it did not affect the pain. Since it was in my lip I wasn't sure but now it is lowered down to the bottom of my jaw inside. Increased dosage has screwed up my eyesight again with no effect on the pain. Seems that took two steps forward and three steps back. After the radiology treatment I don't think there is anything else they can do for me except shrug their shoulders and say to bed/so sad but in Dr. speak. The this is the radiologist later this month. I can't say have ever imagined pain like this before. As the day goes on I am worn out and it seems worse. I start out the morning with very little pain and it seems to increase their and other places as the day goes by. My bedtime I'm ground down. I try to say awake so I'm not awake into the wee hours of the morning. Sometimes it is really hard and I fight sleep like today. I think I am losing the battle and will fall asleep even though I don't want to.
I've been reluctant to say the latest this I am in a hospice care at home. It tends to freak people out and give them the wrong idea. I had the same idea until recently when I was put on it. Does not mean I am close to dying by the have problems and only they can keep after. It's been a real education for me. My issues are that if I get a skin infection in one of my wounds or pneumonia then it will be a serious deal. I have to admit I am ready to go. A big part of me does not want to because it will break 40+ years with my wife. There is no one like her. We have grown together over these many years that is why but really don't want to go but am prepared that is my time. I know I will be with my Savior Jesus. The apostle Paul said he was "betwixt the two". I think I understand that more now than ever before.
I did not have a good day with the dog yesterday. I stayed in my chair until my wife got home. The dog took the opportunity to lick my ankle bandages for over half an hour and a my wife got home and kept her away. I'm fairly confident now the dog does not care about me at all and it really hears my feelings. This one more disappointment on top of all the others. One worries of these.
Well I am not sure what I would ask you to pray about specifically. Thank you for all your prayers. Most evenings when I am weary I long to be home and out of this body. I know what will happen in the Lord's timeframe and not mine. Well that's all for now.

Some updates – Jordyn sees Santa

Matt noticed yesterday that I had missed taking my antidepressants Saturday and Sunday. This is probably what contributed my total tailspin on Sunday. I'm still here.

My wife took Jordyn to see Santa. I am sure that she told Santa that she was a good girl. I think her motto is "there's a sucker born every minute". She is so cute sometimes that I'm sure she had Santa fooled. Last night my wife went out with their sisters. How she was gone Jordyn a bulb off of the tree, chewed it up and ate part of it, found a kleenex and ate it and found the stuffed toy Grumpy Cat, carried it around, flipped in the air, chewed on it but she did not tear it apart. She barked a bunch while my wife was gone because she thinks if she barks my wife will come back sooner. Of course she totally ignores me especially now that my voice is faint and weak. I don't think she ate much of the Christmas ornament. She is used to eating tissues so that is a big deal and she did not destroy the calling cat. I'm getting used to her barking and just ignore. She did find a eating utensil and carried it around a little while but that's no big deal. She is so happy when my wife gets home. She is definitely my wife's dog.
When we had the queen bed in here my wife used to have her put her paws on my chest and her head down on my chest. This is giving Poppa a night nighthug. Then she would get a biscuit which she cared about more than Poppa. With the hospital bed and the computer table over me she cannot get up to my head area. Sunday night the table was not up yet so she could climb up and she climbed up to my head. A lot of times she plopped down with her tail against the top of my head. Sunday night she plopped down so that she was sitting on my head. It was very funny. This is why we call her the Galloot. She stomps where she wants and plops down where she wants. She is not a dainty little thing. I've been telling her if I can I'm going to bite her so she knows that I am the A-dog. I did not do it because I was afraid of what I might bite. I guess she knows that she is the top dog.
It's time to sign off for now. Take care dear reader. We have two nursing technicians who get me up in the morning now so Janette does not have to come home. I'm not sure how well it is going because they ask me lots of questions. I don't do well with decisions anymore. I'm used to my wife knowing what I need taken care. Hopefully we get past learning curve soon. Decisions are bad enough but before my coffee, crazy. I did get a shave this morning. No blood so it went good. We thought we would see more of the nurse but so far not much. I hope that changes soon because only she can redress my wounds.

Power of suggestion

A while ago while you're still going to the wound clinic for nurse we had not seen much of was with Dr. Sharma. The doctor told me that my skin the longer was able to heal itself even with their intervention. I have a DNR order so that if I get a infection it will probably spread to my blood and then be terminal. I mentioned but prepared to go. The nurse we not seen much announced that I wanted to die and that I was in a deep depression. I tried to correct her that being ready to go is not the same as wanting to go. She only heard what she wanted and kept saying I was in a deep depression. We no longer go to the wound clinic because they've done all they could. We have nursing help that comes in a few times a week to redress my wound. The results of been spotty with them showing up. Hopefully we get that straightened out in the next few weeks. This is supposed to help my wife out not confuse her.
So back to my subject. Ever since his nurse announced that I wanted to die and would not hear any explanation I've started to think that maybe she was right. I've been in a tailspin ever since and my poor wife has to deal with the results. Thank you wonderful nurse. 90% of the nurses are great but it only takes a bad one to spoil the bunch. I'm really tired inside and out of living in this body. There's only one way out that I can see. I spend a lot of my day longing for release to be with Jesus. Thank you reader for reading my blog and caring about me.

Problems deciding on my new schedule

I looked over my list of topics and can only find ones that are very serious. I decided after some of my last posts I was not going to get serious anymore. I may break that will try to keep them short. I mentioned a while back that I'm not supposed to be my chair very much and we try to keep it from two hours to no more than six. I now I have a hospital bed to sleep alone. This is been a huge emotional change. I would think with three animals one of them would come show me some sugar. Not so. I read Kindle books on my PC and watch Amazon prime videos. I used to watch TiVo record shows on my phone but for some reason that quit working. My son and I tried everything. We gave up when I tried to get the cable company to send me my password. I had to put in our account number and it said that number was invalid. I don't want to call them because they are awful in you just bounce around from one department to the next. I gave up trying and now I have another reason to despise them. Unfortunately they are the only game in town. We've had no problems with the cable Internet just the TV.
So back to my subject. I spent a lot of time in bed and find it hard to find a reason to get out of bed on the weekends. I find I can stay in this bed all day because is pretty comfortable. I now have nursing technologists, and get me out of bed in the mornings. It is not until 11 o'clock. My son went to the back in bed before he goes to work around 1 o'clock. The only other choice is to wait until my wife gets home and that can be too many hours in the chair. I normally plan to have her get me up around 6 PM to feed me and watch some TV. When that time comes around I normally don't feel like her going to the effort are me getting you the hassle. Have become a bed prepare which is something like a couch potato. I'm not sure how to deal with this in general. Part of the care I will be getting because my skin is failing to heal itself even with the wound clinic's aid. They said they have done everything they can do now I have my having home health which includes some nursing. This is getting hard to get used to. They seem to have the mistaken idea that they can fix me but I don't see that happening. I believe I am on a downward spiral now and when it ends no one knows. The main purpose of all this care is to keep me comfortable keep pain to a minimum. I tell them when they come in and I'm ready to go and know Jesus as my Savior and Lord. Evan will be my home and I'm ready spiritually t I am o go. I'm not quite emotionally ready to leave my wife of over 40 years. But I will sign off now because my voice software is not picking up what I say very well. God bless you dear reader.