MS Post 8 – March is almost over

March is MS awareness month and it is almost over. This will probably be my last post with this theme. Many people are moody but MS takes this to a whole new level. I usually try to be upbeat but many times my mood is awful. Yesterday morning was one of these times.
I woke up feeling really sorry for myself. It really seemed make me feel trapped I can no longer drive my chair around the house. I could no longer go over and look out the window or go out on the porch when the weather's nice. Yesterday this made me feel extremely trapped. As a consequence I woke up in a very foul mood. I try not to share it with my wife but she could tell. Then when my son came I tried not to share with him. Later that afternoon the bad mood disappeared just as quickly as it appeared.
I wanted to share this because I have many very negative days and only try to post on positive days. It probably doesn't help give a clear picture of MS to only post on good days and so I am sharing this with you. Not looking for sympathy, my own self-pity is definitely enough for me.
There is now a medication approved for Primary Progressive MS and I will be seeing the neurologist sometime soon to see if I am a candidate. I'm sure it won't do anything fantastic but if I could get my right hand back enough to drive my chair I think I would be happy. No telling if I'm a candidate or out much this medication costs. Those things would factor into whether I would try it.
I woke up today and would not in a very good mood but nothing like yesterday. Some days all I look forward to is going to bed and going to sleep. It hasn't happened yet but I keep hoping that I will wake up as something really good will happen. I don't even know what it is I want to happen but my wife and I have phase so many disappointments and very little upticks over the last decade or so. Seems somehow they should balance out somewhere along the way.
The positives that I have over the last few years are all about the caregivers and caring friends I have. I really appreciate everyone who helps and cares about me.