Politics, strange, strange and trained

I don't usually blog about politics but I think I will today. I started this yesterday but by voice software required a reboot so I couldn't keep it. I have the TV muted so I can use my voice software and have learned that body language tells a lot. I watch the accuser and I can follow about half of what is said with closed captioning. When they have a "special news break" it's mostly a lot of blah blah... but through all this which has taken weeks I have questions that I am sure will never get answered.
One of my questions is why was a 15-year-old girl at a high school drinking party? When I was growing up I had a sister and a stepsister that would never have been allowed to go out by themselves and to a party unattended by adults. They would've had to prove that a responsible adult would be there. All my friends and parents would do the same. I grew up in the 70's and this was a common thing. When I was in school there were a few guys who were notorious for having alcohol parties and there were two types of girls who would go. There were girls that were really adults much younger than everybody else. The other type that were naïve and were viewed as fresh by these fellows. Everybody in school knew about this, but some girls didn't believe it and went to these parties. Some of the stories were horrible and spread like wildfire. Of course is not their fault and they should've been respected. They went into a dangerous situation that I am sure they were warned about, but either didn't believe it or they thought they could take care of themselves. It didn't take much alcohol and the resistance common sense disappeared.
I have also wondered why our president did not select a woman. Women make up over half the population it seems to me three women should be a minimum having nine justices. I am sure there must be a qualified woman judge out there.
Cavanaugh seems like an odd choice and I wonder if if he is a Trump sycophant and has promised personal loyalty to the president and not justice.
Having learned to watch TV without the sound on, I have learned to read body language and follow the words. Many times body language is more telling than what is said. I've always gotten a creepy feeling from Cavanaugh. Watching I thought accuser came across as being at best eccentric. I have wondered if this event was so traumatic why has she not seen a therapist. The event was 30 years ago and her choices seem a bit odd to me.
Seeing her on TV with her hair looking like her picture on the news from a skiing trip is seems like her hair just came off the slopes. That part struck me as odd and most people when they're going to be on TV at least comb their hair. If I had a teacher with hair hanging in her face all the time and uncombed I would think eccentric and probably close to being a genius.
Of course these are questions that I will never have answers for. I don't want to comment on the outcome or the truthfulness of either because to be honest it's outside my pay grade. This is a democratic republic and our elected officials are required to address these issues. Sometimes this produces strange and sad results. I would hope that a new candidate that was more moderate could be chosen. Maybe that will happen.
I am running out of breath now so will sign off. Thank you again for reading my blog. I had hoped to post more this week ,but other things prevented me. One other thing would be my health and also the pets. After being exposed to these politics that leave me more troubled and confused I look forward to cat videos. It is nice to get the diversion of these extremists that fight for our votes.

Thought channels

I wanted to post yesterday but it didn't work out. Sunday we went to a local cider place that sold beer also. I don't like cider is just too sweet. Two beers of the up and I did not have a third. When I came home I was a little depressed. You know that song "too much time on my hands", that's one of my problems. When I daydream which is often and bind there are three channels my brain falls into.
There is the good channel, the bad channel, and the naughty channel. Naughty channel mostly involves things I can talk about because they are defiling. Much of the news lately has made me think about these things more than I should. I think about my high school days. I was never involved in anything like what I keep hearing about. But there was always a silly girl underclassmen that would go to these older people parties. They were viewed as fresh victims. Everyone seemed to annoy and these young girls would ignore the advice stay away. There were two guys in our school who were notorious for this. There was a lot of alcohol and drugs. Enough said. The longer I go fast my physical inability in this area less I think about it.
The bad channel is mostly self-pity. This is made worse because I thought the new drug that is infusions for my MS would give me use four days and I have on days of my right hand back. Is very difficult on days that I have difficulty with my voice because it is so faint. Yesterday was terrible. Today not so bad. Another thing that is bad is that even if I voice is there a cannot be heard above any background noise. That's my bad channel and one spend too much time in.
The good channel has two main types of thought. They are my meditations on the Bible and this yields an uplifting to my spirit. I wish I could say that I prayed a lot and I don't. I find when I started praying I began to daydream and cannot stay on task. I suppose I should practice more and maybe I will. There's also the channel where I think of my blessings in life. I have a great group of caregivers anchored by my wife. Have the last blessings to think about these days because I become more and more physically disabled. Loss of money problems in the future troubled me. The Republicans have changed Medicare and Medicaid and Social Security to "entitlements". This is strange to me because I've been paying and these systems since I was 16. Democrats been so far the other way they scare me to. Bill Clinton ran on a liberal platform was a moderate president. I wish we could have some moderation in our politics. Oh well, God is my provider and I need to stop looking at my troubles focus on what I do have. This is all I have energy for today take care dear reader.

Meditation of late

I was thinking the other day that Jesus healed many people. It is rarely mentioned but at the pool Bethesda were many who were not healed there as well as in Jerusalem and Samaria. There may have been people of faith. Sometimes I wonder why Jesus does not heal me. But I think of all the people at the pool waiting for the water to be troubled by an angel and they would step in and be healed. When I consider these people I realize there are many Jesus left in their same condition. This helped me accept my disease more. The Lord knows how much I want to come home and how much I want to stay with my wife. We have such a special bond. She always makes me laugh and I enjoy her deadpan type of humor. When I go home that will be gone because is only for this life. I so weary of my disease and the burden placed on her but I trust her to take care of me like no one else. I also Appreciate my son Matt a lot as well as Tom and Dan when they are home. I need to build more that daily trust in my Savior.

Jordan and Lacey latest

Am not sure how to deal with the pressure sore and time in my chair. The nurses instruction of getting up three times a day and only one hour in the chair is impossible in my situation. So instead of discussing my health I have a dog and cat story.
The cats are getting more comfortable with Jordan and she has toned down her behavior around them. Sometimes still gets a lot of puppy and chase them but they are starting to get along better. I mentioned once that Lacey the cat bed in the window. She has it timed out she knows how much time she needs in the living room before she get in the Bed before the dog can catch her. Sometimes she would just sit in the living room and wait for the dog notice her and then and Jordan starts toward her she wants the cat bed. It's pretty entertaining for her and for me. Jordan has accepted that the cat bed is home base like when we were kids and three was home base.
Now Jordan will put her front paws on the table and Lacey that's her lick her head and ears. If Jordan tries to stiffer belly she suspects it and will sort of wrestled with him until he stops. The other day Jordan gave her one of her toys. She was not impressed and Jordan seemed very confused and she did not want to share. It become extremely entertaining and some day I hope they will cuddle up but that is a lot to hope for. Jordan is is settling down a little. Does seem to save it up when my wife gets home. I wife sister retired recently she comes over once a week to see me. Jordan thinks is just like my wife and dominates her time here. She will try to climb up in her lap and sometimes is 60 pound dog can get there. She always tricks my sister-in-law do taking her outside. Words all she wants is to fight when she knows when she has a sucker.
I am running out of breath and am difficult with the voice software I will sign off for now thank you for reading my blog.

Cognitive MS problems

I hope to get this post in before my voice software goes wacko. I wish I could post about my pets but I'm not able to get to this PC enough because I have to spend so much time in bed. Went to the doctor on that yesterday and is coming along pretty good so I hope after next week I can spend more time in my chair.
I feel I need to discuss cognitive issues that become much more pronounced in the last year or so. I'm not looking for sympathy but just want to share and educate. My MS is the worst I have heard about. It has advanced faster than the doctor or the Internet information led me to believe.
My wife took me to the doctor yesterday there was a time when my fishing partner. It hit me pretty hard how much I have lost. There was a time my trout fishing buddy referred to me as the roadmap. If I went there once I had no problem going there again by memory. He was amazed because most of the trout streams were in obscure rural areas. There even ones in Wisconsin and I could go to by memory. I was always pretty smart.
Yesterday I had no idea where the doctors was that we went to last week. When my wife started out I wanted to tell her that she was going the wrong way. I held my tongue though because I trust her immensely. As we went there nothing seemed familiar and it was a surprise to me and I realized how much MS has screwed up my brain. I find it difficult because I say things and and they come out with the wrong thing. My brain and my tongue seems disconnected now. I am finding this difficult to accept. I am sure I will eventually because I have no other choice. I'm now along for the ride between MS and my caregivers. Everything I lose must be made up by mostly my wife and my son Matt. They have to figure out whether what I'm saying is coming out correctly or incorrectly. This makes me very angry with myself. All this is all I have breath for so I will sign off now. God bless you dear reader and I hope your life is going good.

Pressure sore problems

I went to the doctor abou. T my pr essure sore I have to stay in bed most of the time now. It is a fungus and the spores spread under my skin. My wife showed me a pic. The medicine she rubbed on it makes the spores show up as red. A picture totally freaked me out. I won't be able to post much because my bedroom PC has lost the use of the microphone so I cannot dictate or control the PC by voice.

Weird animal behavior

Recently Jordan and Lacey have shown on behavior. Jordan love everybody who comes to our house. She also loves all the dogs at the dog park. I wife took her on a walk with the leash the other day. Whenever she saw another dog he became extremely ferocious and scared my wife as well as the other person walking their dog. I g copy guess cannot go on walks now. I wife told me dog trainer at her class said some dogs get that w&ay on the lease.
 Last night Lacey somehow blasted out of the window on the screen porch and spent the night outside. She has never shown interest getting outside. My wife was worried about her and looked for in the backyard with a flashlight. I wasn't too worried because she likefoo. Sh and was there first thing in the morning.. Silly animals!

The blues MS style

Will I have not posted much lately. I've really been struggling with the downward effects of my MS. Is hard to get used to the idea that nothing will ever get better only worse. Especially my breathing. I have a lot of phlegm and am now having a lot of problems coughing it up. I cough for hours on the same staff and it takes a long time to cough it up. I cough on the same stuff for hours. It wears me down physically and mentally. Doctors have no solutions. It is just part of my MS. I used to have a positive attitude but lost that when my right hand but working and I became a full quadriplegic. I feel silly having optimism when I should've known nothing would ever get better. I am still struggling with my trigeminal neuralgia medication. I keep hoping I can get off it begins is screws up my eyesight. The doctor also says it lowers my sodium level to problematic levels.
I have gone from a positive attitude. I have been sad, discouraged, impressed and now I am just brokenhearted. I find our new cats and dog entertaining. None of them have attached himself to be likened Macy did. I know she was one-of-a-kind but I had hoped to get some affection out of these new ones. I think Lacey said toward cuddling with me until Jordan moved in. Jordan cannot stand another animal getting attention and sleeping on the bed. She chased the cat off and she hasn't been back since. Jordan does encounter with me either. So basically I am mostly brokenhearted and don't see ever coming out of it. It is probably better than when I was depressed because I shared that over and over by loved ones. Depresses me that I keep adding more and more things my caregivers to d will o. I will let cool can no longer do anything for myself except use smile mouse on my PC. I can read books and load up prime videos for Q3 pretty busy bad.
Now I have found out that I have pressure sores sitting in my chair. The wheelchair guy came yesterday and warned me that a pressure sore group of doctors will probably tell me lay on my side and not get in the chair. When I am on my side and can do nothing so I'm not looking forward to that. The benefit will be that hopefully my wife does not have to dress by would twice a day. Well I need to go now I'm running out of energy. Take care dear reader.