Inspiring new TV show – This Is Us

I have been feeling pretty depressed lately. I had the procedure in February hoping to get a permanent fix to my trigeminal pain in my jaw. Couple months ago the pain came back and the neurologist at U of I hospital said I may be able to control the pain the smaller doses of the pain that affected my MS. So I tried that and it really helped with the pain and it is a much smaller dose than before. I'm not sure how much it affects my MS and my limited mobility of my right hand. I've lost mobility but I'm not sure if it is the combination of MS and the pain med or just MS. I talked to the doctor Monday about it these going to call my neurologist to save me having to explain it another 2 to 3 times. He also is treating me as if I have pneumonia again which I possibly do. I have bore my voice back so I'm back to using my PC a little bit.
So I haven't been feeling very thankful lately even though I have a wonderful family to be thankful for as well as friends. There is a new TV show called "this is us". I have become quite addicted to the show and my favorite character is Randall who was adopted and recently found his birth father. Finding his birth father was complicated by the fact his father has terminal cancer. In the show last night he was asked "what does it feel like to be dying"when he was in an awkward situation outside getting surprise share. His answer almost brought me to tears.
I'm sure I won't do the subject justice but I will try my best. He said it's like all these beautiful moments are swirling around him and he is trying to grab them and hold them tight so they are lost. Now he's getting older and slower and it's harder to get them. He said like when my granddaughter is sitting on my lap and falls asleep and I feel her breath on my shoulder. Or when his son laughs, come from deep down in his chest. He said he is getting slow and old and it's hard to grab these moments as a swirl around him and he advised the person he was talking to to grab these moments of they are still young and can hold on them.
I started thinking about all of the beautiful things that have swirled around me and I'm filled with joy and appreciation. My wife and I if hardly been apart since we been married. There been a few work trips and a few trips where we didn't go together but for the most part we have slept together for all these years. I realize how much I appreciate hearing your breathing while she sleeps. When I wake up in the night and I hear breathing next to me it is one of those beautiful moments. A few years ago we thought about getting me a hospital bed and me sleeping in the room by myself. I told her that is the last thing I want to do is to lose having her next to me. Hearing your breathing is one of those great choice I have do remember, cradle and enjoy over and over again.
I have so many other memories from my sons when they were babies up until the beautiful adults have become. So many beautiful things for me to latch onto and not forget. When I think of these things I feel truly blessed and have trouble feeling depressed anymore.
I hope you all have a great Thanksgiving, I'm sure I will.