The other day I posted about MS making me into a hermit. I don't want people to think that that's really sad and feel sorry for me. I can safely say that I have only felt alone for a few months since I turned 25. A number of things happened when I was 25. One of which was that we had our 1st child. For about the next 30 years there was always someone around whether it be one of my 3 sons or my wife..
When our sons got into high school and older there was one time where they were all going to be gone and my wife had something to do on a Friday evening. I talked all week about how it was the 1st time I'd gotten to do whatever I wanted in years. Then when that Friday came and I came home by myself I ended up sitting on the couch trying to remember what it was I did when I was by myself. I ended up never figuring out what it was I was missing out on and ended up watching TV.
A few years before this time frame, my best friend Mark left to go to graduate school in Michigan. At MSU to be exact. He'd gone to Coe College here in town and so we often did things together until he moved away. We fished for trout together which involved a lot of driving up to Northeast Iowa. We rode our motorcycles together. And to be honest we drink together quite a bit. I've never had a better friend and to be honest it was a little difficult for me when he left. It was a great move for him and no one can fault him. I realize we all have to grow up sometime!
Another thing that happened near that time frame was that I was laid off from my job. There was literally no work openings anywhere in Cedar Rapids. I spent a lot of my day taking care of our new baby. My wife's grandmother Helen would come over and babysit our son Dan when I needed to go look for work. One day she left behind, on accident, a book she was reading about the book of Hebrews. I have been reading the Bible for months by then and trying to make myself acceptable to God. The better I got on the outside the worse I felt on the inside. I soon became an unbelievable burden to me. Then I read the book grandma Helen had left behind and I came to the verses in Hebrews that said "without shedding of blood there is no remission for sin".
When I read this verse it was like all the dominoes started falling into place of all that I'd read before in the Bible. I realize then that I didn't need to make myself perfect that God had already done the work for me. I accepted Jesus as my Lord and Savior and from that day onward I have always felt like he was with me. Recently on Facebook my wife's aunt posted the word to him about walking in the garden. It is about the women who ran to Jesus is tomb that first morning after he arose and he appeared to them. The words from them are quite beautiful. "And he walked with me and he talked with me and he told me he loves me so. And the joy we shared as we tarried there none other has ever known". You see knowing Jesus is a personal thing in a very real way to those know him and of accepted him.
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