Christmas

Had a nice Christmas. We went to one of my wife's sister's house for Christmas Eve. Almost everyone was there and one of my great nephews made sure my beer didn't get warm before I could drink it. I find when I drink dark beers I don't drink very much because they make me so full plus there were lots of good eats. I got lots of hugs and my nieces are very affectionate toward me and make me feel so welcome. So do my sister-in-law's but they tend to be kind of busy.
Christmas day we had about half of the group that was there for Christmas Eve. It is become our custom that we provide prime rib with a herb rub   seared onto it. it makes the roast taste a little bit like pastrami. A lot of good food, good desserts and cookies. Fortunately I didn't eat way too much. Later on one of my nieces, her fiancé and their daughter came over with their little dog Josie. It was great seeing them and the little daughter is so cute. We found out last time they were here that their daughter could crawl through the cat door in the gate we use to keep Atlas out of the cat room. When he goes back there eats all their food otherwise we wouldn't care.
That evening I have to say I ended up feeling a little bit bummed. To be totally transparent I have to say I am being ground down by my MS symptoms and wish I could do more to help out and be able to talk and greet people better. What really got me bummed out is that my trigeminal neuralgia is coming back. Once again it is quite painful and this time it hurts when I'm talking but not all the time. I thought we were past this but I guess not. Months ago it started to come back and I started the medication again on a low-dose. Then I tried to decrease the number of pills each week until I got down to 2 pills a week. No pain and the and then I tried to go without it. Big mistake, now it's back with a vengeance. Now I'm taking 2 pills a day hoping to keep it at bay. I really don't want to go through another rhizotomy I don't want to take so many of these pills. It used to be the pills affected what little use I had in my arms but in the last year have lost the use anyway so it doesn't really matter now other than I just don't like to take medication. These were the only pills that I have taken that have had noticeable side effect other than making me drowsy.
So then I had a Christmas miracle happened last night was kind of funny, the timing of it and all. I have been telling Lacy and Slim there is a big opportunity here. I needed a new primary cat and guess what my wife put Lacy up between my knees last night and she laid down and went to sleep there. Then later she got down and I thought that was it. And amazingly she came back up, and spent at least 2 hours sleeping on top of my legs or more properly in a kitty nest between my knees. She even stayed with the dog on the bed. Now I'm thinking it was a Christmas miracle!

Brain Fog

I keep saying on Facebook and MS site that mentions that the MS person expected mobility problems but never expected cognitive problems. I knew this was a possibility and in the support group there have been a couple of people that are seriously affected by cognitive problems. What's bad about it is that it hit them when they were in their working years and they could not get disability approval without a lawyer. One of them never did get approval.
Now I am finding that is starting to affect me cognitively (thinking). Sometimes my filter in my brain doesn't work I say things that are rude or inappropriate. Sometimes when my wife scolds me I can't help but laugh because of the cognitive problems. My caregivers cut me a lot of slack on this and I'm laughing and not crying. I want to cry a lot but my anti-anxiety medication makes that impossible. Usually I run out of mojo around 7 or 8 PM but want to stay up until after 9 so that I split my time more evenly between bed and my chair..
What seem to be getting really bad is my memory and brain fogginess. Today when my wife came to get me up at 930 I thought it was Saturday and I said "I'm not ready to get up yet" because I sleep till 1030 or 11 on weekends. She said I have to get you up at, I left work to do it. I asked isn't it Saturday and she said no it's Friday.. I said sorry I'm thinking it's Saturday and she got me up. Now I'm having trouble keeping my eyes open and will probably fall asleep later. I think what I have today is called brain fog and usually a cup of coffee wakes me up but some days not so much. I'm having a lot of trouble remembering names and have trouble keeping track of what day it is.So far this is not lead to any serious issues other than annoyance.
I'm reading a book about the Vietnam War which was a very strange war especially for those who went over there and I can't say anyone ever really knew what we're doing over there. They had a saying that ended most conversations about the strangeness of their assignments and goals. The United States was never allowed to go in and and the war but were stuck over there as the "police action" that led to so much uncertainty. They're saying that ended most of these conversations was "well there it is" so that's what I have to say about my MS and all the different symptoms is "well there it is". I know people who have my type and are still able to walk but they have other symptoms that go with their MS and I wouldn't trade with them. The brain stuff has been very slow to show itself so hopefully I can keep a handle on the few things I need to remember.
Well this will probably my last post before Christmas so have a happy holiday season and God bless you.

Latest cat update

I wanted to give a new cat update. Lacy Is the gray and white one. She comes out almost every day and sleeps on the kitty bed which is on the kitty table so she can see out the windows. There is also a ledge in our bedroom window and she spends a lot of time on. We used to laugh about Macy, saying she was the neighborhood watch cat. Lacy seems to have a similar interest in what goes on. She no longer runs away from Atlas and hisses and bats at him if he gets too close. Neither Atlas or Lacy seem to be afraid of each other. She just doesn't like to occupy the same space as him. Atlas seemed to take in stride. One night my wife put Lacy between my knees and she stayed there for about 5 minutes. And she got down and surprisingly jumped back up on my feet and went up to my legs and laid down again. Baby steps.
Slim is almost all gray and is a fairly long cat. He has a tiny bit of white on the stomach but other than that he is a beautiful gray color. I've seen more of him this week than all the rest of his time here combined. Comes out and walks around the living room and checks out the entry room. He will lay right in the crossroad between the entry and the hall going back to our bedrooms. If Atlas comes over to him he pounds Atlas his nose or just ignores Atlas entirely. He seems a little restless and never stays in one spot very long.
My wife has found that Lacy likes to fight the shoelace on the end of the stick Macy used to. She is quite ferocious and the strings better watch out! One night slim came out and watched for a while and when he tried to attack the string Lacy pounded on his head and he quit. Slim will chase the laser pointer all over the place and Lacy totally ignores it. It's pretty funny to see my wife with the kitty string toy in one hand and the laser pointer in the other.
I keep hoping one of the cats will bond with me enough to jump up on my lap or sleep on top of me. So far that hasn't happened yet. Maybe it will. Tom will be home for Christmas and will take Atlas hunting in western Iowa so Atlas will be gone for a few days. We'll see how the cats act during that time.

I have become a worrier!

Yesterday I wrote a little about the difficulties I have with decisions. Today I will talk about things that stress me out. While I was still working of course I was stressed about work related things. Now that I not working I still find things to stress about. I'm pretty sure one of the reasons is that I just have to much time to think about things and I have become a worrier. I'm not sure if it's the fact I'm getting older or MS related but I find even when I was working I became more of a worrier and now that I'm not working I just find new thing to worry about.
These are some of the things I worry about now:
Sleeping too much during the day and not sleeping at night. The nights I have trouble sleeping are so long.
Whether I will forget to ask something before my wife leaves or my son Matt leaves.
I stress about forgetting things or worrying that I am forgetting something important.
I get really stressed out thinking about going different places. There been a few times where we just could not find anywhere to park and then it really bothers me that we go to the trouble to get me in the van and drive somewhere and then are not able to stay due to parking problems. It's very frustrating for me to depend on others for things that I've been doing for years like driving and parking.
A stress about digestive problems. I seem to have more troubles now than ever because I am sitting in a chair all day. Getting driven somewhere shakes stuff and I worry we have to leave and come home to use my sling.

Since I can't drive my chair anymore I stress about going to other people's houses. My ramps only work in certain situations and not all. Couple of them are pretty steep and I used to be able to drive myself and I trusted myself to drive down steep ramps. I worry about going down with someone else driving. Going up never seems to bother me but going down is pretty scary. The chair does want to stop in the middle so once you start down you have to keep going.

I worry about people getting hurt trying to help me on a ramp. Between me and my chair we weigh 600 pounds. I worry that other people will get hurt trying to hold me on a ramp if I'm going off.

I don't mean to upset my caregivers because they are great. I just find have more of a worrier than I used to be an don't know how to stop. Too many years of being independent!

Decisions

I mentioned it before that I have lost the use of my right hand and can no longer drive my chair. Now my wife positions me in front of my PC and tilts my chair so that I can sit here safely  all day. I am reclined enough that I can even fall asleep if I want. Recently I have seen on Facebook a video of a quad who can driver his chair using the straw to control it. The fellow who works on my chair had suggested this earlier this year. I looked it up yesterday on the Internet to see how they work. I have problems with my breathing and so I wasn't sure I would be able to operate this. From what I read I would be able to use it to get around a little bit. I don't think it would be accurate enough to put myself into the van and hit the chair lock device. Somebody would need to drive me into the van and probably to take me back to the bedroom. I would be able to drive around and look out different windows. Now I have to decide between this method of moving or running my PC.
If I got the straw control it would be in the way of my smile mouse which is how I maneuver around my PC. I still use my voice software to dictate things like this or Facebook posts or emails. The voice software would still work but the straw would be in the way of my smile mouse so I wouldn't be able to use my PC very well. I can still use my voice software as long as there was no other noise. That would mean that when other people are here I couldn't use my computer even to read a Kindle book.
I think I will stay with my smile mouse and use my PC even if that means I can't use the straw control. I am almost positive the straw control would get in in the way because even the straw from my morning coffee gets in the way of smile mouse. I have found that it is getting harder and harder to make decisions and I tend to overthink them and get stressed about a choice I have made.

Atlas visits Santa

I'm finding it harder and harder to concentrate and focus. I am not sure what that means for my blog in the future but for now I just post stories about pets. This beautiful black lab is our son's dog and we're watching him for a year while he is deployed. He has my wife wrapped around his big huge paw and she took him to the dog park as well is getting his picture taken with Santa. He wasn't really a good boy because he kept jerking my wife's arm trying to see things. He met a huge dog at Pet Smart and about ripped my wife's arm off getting over next to him. He really likes other dogs but cats are a total mystery to him.

After we lost Macy there was about 2 months where he was the only pet in our house. Then we adopted a pair of bonded cats. Fortunately for Atlas they are declawed. He can't figure out why they don't want to play with his toys. He tries to give the cats a toy to play with and they just smack him in the nose, hiss and yowl. Occasionally he gets to sniff them and once in a while even gets to lick them before they smack him. All this animosity has made him extremely insecure. When Matt comes over to give me lunch and sits down on the couch he climbs on top of him like a lapdog. Imagine a 95 pound lapdog. He does the same thing with my wife. The funniest thing is that one night last week my wife put one of the cats on my legs and she stayed there. Usually at bedtime as soon as my wife leaves he follows her into the living room. That is what happened the night she put the cat in my leg. After she left here comes Atlas who jumps up on the bed and chases the kitty away. Then he laid on top of my shoulder till my wife came to bed over an hour later. Last few nights he has stayed in their after my wife leaves and I think he is either jealous of the cats or he is protecting me from them. He has turned into a big baby.

Tiredness

Of the many problems that I have with MS is trying to decide the cause of Symptoms. Lately I have been having a very hard time waking up in the morning and I also feel sleepy all day. Like yesterday after Matt left at 2 PM I couldn't keep my eyes open and fell asleep. I'm not sure how long I slept but then at bedtime I couldn't fall asleep before 1am. Then this morning I had a very hard time waking up and ended up taking a morning nap. My wife goes to work around 6 AM so I wake up then and take some morning medications and supplements. I read for a while or listen to a sermon and fall back asleep. She comes around 9:30 AM to get me up so that is only about 7 hours sleep at night. I found a morning nap works better because I wake up for sure when Matt comes. I try to go to sleep by midnight. That seems to work out the best.

A year ago I didn't have this problem. Now I wonder is it MS progression, the time of year, medications or old age since I'm 60. It's probably a combination of some or all these. Trying to fix the problem so I sleep more at night seems be problematic. If I miss a morning nap then my afternoon naps are very long and start the cycle of going to sleep late and then getting up tired. Of course if I take a morning nap and I may not post on my blog depending on how quiet it is in the afternoon.

Of course   these are fairly minor symptoms and I know others who deal with worse things or the same things and I feel for them. If this were my only problem I would be  a happy camper. It just noticed this year it's hard to deal with and I always want to try to improve things or fix them. It's hard to just accept things and learn to live with them. The Bible teaches that we are to be content with what we have but it also teaches us to keep working. Sometimes is hard to find a balance.

More critter stories. I can't seem to stop

I was hoping to post something on the serious side but I keep getting sidetracked by these interesting animals we have in the house. I've mentioned that we are watching our sons black lab Atlas, while he is deployed overseas until June. We adopted a pair of bonded cats about a month ago. The more the cats adapt to our house the more jealous Atlas seems to be. He is a big teddy bear and would never hurt them but he likes to sniff them. Sometimes they don't mind but most of the time they meow and cry and bat his nose and it hurts his feelings so he leaves. Whenever my wife or son Matt pick up one of the cats he has to go over there and climbs on top of them practically. He is become very jealous of the cats TV in. Usually if my wife is here he is her dog and I am chopped liver
 You might remember that Macy used to sleep between my knees almost every night. I told my wife a much I missed that and I wish one of the cats would start doing that. Last night she got Lacy out and laid on the bed and scratch her ears. And amazingly she went over and laid on top of one of my legs. I have to admit I love that feeling. My wife left to go watch TV and the cat stayed there. I thought maybe we have broken a barrier. Right after my wife left guess who pops in the bedroom, that's right Atlas. He was jealous that the cat was paying me attention. He jumped up on the bed and she left. Then he came up by my head and laid with his head on my arm for a very long time. I didn't realize I can make him jealous with the cats. Silly puppy. Usually follows my wife back out to living room after she puts me to bed. He must be protecting me from these mean little kitties.
Another quick story – this morning when my wife got up both cats were in her bathroom. Atlas came over and sat by the door. Those cats made noises I have never heard before complaining about the dog. Maybe someday they will bond. Atlas is such a gentle puppy and those kitties let him know that they don't like him.

Grumpy old man – Burgess Meredith

Yesterday I started the day feeling pretty grumpy and reminded me of the movie I saw many years ago with Walter Matthau and Jack Lemmon. The premise of the movie that these 2 old friends were divided by both of them being attracted to Ann Margaret. As funny as it was it was Burgess Meredith as an old uncle who to me stole the show. He was a crusty old man who didn't have a filter on what he said. I looked it up on YouTube to play them for Matt when he came over. I laughed so hard I had tears in my eyes and kept laughing about Burgess Meredith all day. I started out trying to find what he said to Jack Lemmon's character when Walter Matthau's character was invited in to Ann Margaret's house. Burgess Meredith and Jack Lemmon were hiding behind a tree watching and Burgess Meredith in his raspy voice says "looks like Tom is getting lucky tonight". At the end of the movie they play al bunch of not safe for work or my blog ad Libs by Burgess Meredith.

Then there were a couple of Burgess Meredith parts of the movie I'd forgotten that I cat post on. Early one morning Jack Lemmon and Burgess Meredith are on the porch talking. Jack Lemmon says something about Burgess Meredith smoking. In his raspy voice Burgess says "for a long as I can remember I started out every morning witb a cigarette and then I went in and ate 6 pieces of bacon. At night I drank my dinner. Dr. told me that I should be in the dirt years ago." There was a long pause and Jack  says sarcastically is there a moral to your story? And Burgess Meredith the says "no, I just like telling that story". Every time I think of this scene I started laughing. The next one is a little cruder but I think it's okay for my blog.

In this scene there is a young mother with the little girl about 3. She swallows a quarter and the mother is all upset. Burgess says "she swallowed a quarter, that's no big deal, kids swallowed quarters all the time". The mother says really? And Burgess says "yeah kids swallowed quarters all the time. If she craps out a dime and a nickel then you got problems!". I kept laughing about that one the rest of the day. I suppose some of my laughter was PBA disease but Burgess Meredith made me laugh and my mood changed all day.

I wish I could say my mood was improved by reading the Bible or prayer but I would be lying. I'm probably not the best Christian but when it comes right down to it I do lead on the Lord. And

Grumpy old man

We were always told growing up "if you don't have anything nice to say then don't say anything at all". I woke up this morning in a foul mood. Probably because I spent all last evening coughing and had too much phlegm built up to use my breathing machine and so I don't think I slept that great. So I will try to keep this short.

 I woke up fairly angry and thinking about how I had to quit work 10 years earlier than I planned. I have disability insurance at 60% of my former pay which is good except that means that I will not even come close to my target number in my 401(k). No work no new additions. Also have to pay tax on the disability money at the normal rate. Some kind of crabby because I'm afraid I will leave my wife destitute by this disease before I've released.

I grew up with that show where the key person saying "what will be will be, the future is not ours is to see". I need to remember how loved I have but I am frustrated that I never got to my goals. They seemed so achievable and now they are not. I suppose I'm feeling sorry for myself so don't feel sorry for me I have that covered. Thanks for reading my blog and I hope my bad mood doesn't spread.

New cat update

Last night was shower night and so my chair was parked in the hallway. After I was in bed we notice that Slim and jumped up on the chair. He seemed quite content there and my wife took photos of him. I was afraid you wouldn't show up because he is close to the same color as the chair. After I saw the photos I realized he looks pretty good. He is a beautiful cat and is fairly long and seemed pretty athletic.
After he was enjoying himself on their Lacy decided she needed to be up there too. To get there with him and does seem like they were going to be pals. Then she stretched out on the back in the chair to look up at the head rest, turned and jumped on top of Slim and chasing him away. When they told us they were a bonded pair we thought it meant they like each other and they do but she is mean to him. After she chased him away she stayed on the chair even after my wife moved to chair into it spot in the bedroom. She stayed there for over an hour. I think that means it is hers now. Slim is big enough to kick her but but she is mean to him. He does seem pretty attached to her and reminded me of me and my sister when we were younger. We were inseparable but she picked on me terribly and she was a year older. So far the kitties are not really affected to me but they are very entertaining.

Disabled or part abled?

Having a chronic illness and disability as lead me to read but others with different chronic illnesses and different disabilities as well as my own. Long time ago I read about a lady in the United Kingdom who sister drowned herself rather than live life in a wheelchair. She had to driver chair to a nearby river, climb over a fence and then drag yourself to the river. The story was published because the living sister wanted voluntary physician aided euthanasia laws created in the UK. And recently there was a story about a war injured man who lost his legs and wished he was dead.

I read these things and I think good golly they have the use of their arms and their complaining? They don't want to live in there so many things you can do as long as your arms and hands work? I wish they could meet me and realized that you just have to use what you have as best as you can because there is always somebody worse they can deal with it. I'm not sure how to get this message out but if your hands and arms work or if your one-hand and arm work there are so many things you can do that you should be thankful for. I am thankful I can still operate my PC and read e-books. I can watch videos on my PC and I have a loving family. My pets are also very entertaining so there is many enriching opportunities no matter how bad you are physically. I don't want to minimize these injuries and illnesses but it's best to try to rise above them!

MS men's Facebook conferences. If I could go this when I would talk about.

Today I noticed on one of my Facebook sites that I follow called, Men with MS that they are having conferences in large cities for discussions on how MS affects men in a number of different ways. In this post I will cover some of the things that I would want to bring up were I able to attend one of these are functions.
Of Course there many physical issues that in my case are extreme compared to many MS people. I have lost the use of pretty much everything below my neck. I still have feeling but it is numb a little by tingling and neuralgia. Like if I spilled hot liquids on myself I really have some wild spasms. When I am waking up and change positions a little bit my arms and legs spasm and my hand spasm into fists. I am bound in a wheelchair all day, put in there by my wife in the mornings before she goes to work. I can no longer drive my chair but I found a voice software and a program called Smyle mouse where the mouse cursor follows my face. This gives me freedom on my PC. I can no longer use my fingers so I cannot run my phone, use the PC keyboard or a TV remote. My son comes at 1 PM to check on me and give me lunch. So how does this affect my manliness? Hopefully this doesn't come across as sexist.
I am 60 years old and been married for over 35 years. I have always been the one who took care of home maintenance. This stopped about 4 years ago totally. There was number of years where he could do some things but not others. This has been one of the most difficult part about my disease. Instead of just doing things or fixing things I now have to communicate to others what need to be done or more difficulty to stay out of it and leave it for others. I went from having and using dozens of tools and knowing where I kept them. I can't say I was real organized but I usually knew where I left the tools I needed. Now they are all over the place and I don't know where any are. I still have to describe certain tools for people to use in certain situations. I find I'm not a very good communicator.
One thing my MS as affected is my diaphragm and I speak very weakly. The right side of my face is also numb due to a procedure done for my trigeminal neuralgia. This affects my speech also.
One of the longest time wise symptoms I've dealt with his urinary problems. I had trouble voiding my bladder and so I would go to the bathroom quite often. Since my arms quit working I have had to go to an indwelling catheter. You might wonder how this affects my self identification. The frequent urination did but the catheter and bag, not so much. I have given up the use of this area of my body many years ago. Of course this has affected my masculine identification but that was a few years ago. Took about 3 years to accept it mentally. I still think like a man but physically I'm really not anymore. Also a few years ago I require a ceiling lift to get me in and out of bed as well as holding me over the toilet. This used to bother me a lot but anymore I have pretty much lost any sense of pride and just take whatever gets dished out.
Lately I've been wondering how much more can this disease take away from me? I suppose there is something a can but to me it seems like it's taken most everything. I miss my hobbies like kayaking, fishing, biking and hiking. If I go anywhere someone has to drive me into my van and it sure seems like a lot of trouble. I get out once a week or so and have a beer or 2. I read a lot and try to post on my blog so people know how I'm doing.
So I gets and summation I feel like MS has made me much less of a man and more of just a person. My brain still functions like a heterosexual male and this shows up in some of my dreams but less and less as time goes by. I tend to have dreams about still working and when I wake up it takes a while to remember that I don't go to work anymore. I guess that's one area that still bothers me. No more work means I'm now on Social Security disability with some disability money from my job so that I get 60% of what a used to make. It is been difficult to transition from the pay of working to the pain and disability. I don't envy anyone who has to quit working.

Quick posting – a few more animal stories

Today one of my brother-in-laws came over for his weekly visit. It started out as a Bible study but is turned into a gab session instead. We did end up with prayer. Because of that I'm a little short on time today so I will just tell another animal story or two.
Atlas seems be feeling pretty insecure because of the cats. He is acting more attached than usual especially with my wife. He used to get jealous when she would brush Macy but with the new cats he is always jealous even if they aren't in the room. Last night he got up on the couch next to her and put his head on her arm. Then it morphed into his head on her shoulder then he went even further and put his head on top of hers and had his chest on top of her shoulder. He was glued to her until bedtime. Silly dog. She tells him he is a good boy and that he is still her favorite but he is still insecure.
The cats are starting to spend more time in the living room. Lacy has taken over the cat bed near the window. Sometimes she lays with her back paws on the table and her front elbows on the windowsill. There is nothing below her stomach. I'm not sure how that's comfortable but she seems to like it. Both cats and started hanging around our bedroom at bedtime. If Atlas walks by, even if he is 3 or 4 foot away they cry like little babies in their kitty voices. I tried telling them about the boy who cried Wolf but they don't care because they're cats and that's what cats do.
This morning Atlas laid up by my shoulders while my wife was getting me dressed. One time she rolled me over and he licked my left hand front and back, goober city. Next time she rolled me over he licked my right hand front and back, more goober. Then when she tipped my chair back to pull me into a better he licked my left chin, cheek, ear and then my hair. He left by ear full of goober and he is never licked my hair before. He must really be feeling insecure. I'm sure by the end of the year you all be great friends!

Pets – a never-ending story

I haven't forgotten that I promised to finish my thoughts on the story of the prodigal from Luke 15. It is some bouncing around in my head and I haven't got the discipline yet to put it down in writing but I will. Today I have to talk about pets because that is what interests me during the day when I am all alone.
Neither cat has attacked the Christmas tree so that is good. It might be because the big scary dog lays on the couch closest to the tree. I think Atlas feels a little bit robbed. He knows something Happened to the last cat and he can tell the new ones are not the same cat. He seemed a little taken aback when both of them are out here together. Neither one backs down when he comes to sniff them. Slim just ignores him and Lacy waits until will he walks away and then she hisses and bats at him. He still can't figure out why we don't get a kitty who likes him. Poor little puppy. Last night Lacy was making howling noises at him and he wasn't even close to her. We told him you would get his own kitty and think he believed us and is hurt that these kitties don't like him. I guess we should have let him pick out a kitty.
When we went and looked for a cat, they suggested Slim and Lacy because we wanted declawed and older than kittens. They were listed as declawed on their website but they checked and found it were both declawed. We didn't want to deal with the kitty stuff and I need a declawed cat so I don't suffer if they knead their paws on me like Macy is to do. She wasn't declawed she would have left bloody holes in me. So far neither cat is very cuddly. My wife can pick either one up and Lacy doesn't mind but Slim wiggles and wants down. We think the cats will be more outgoing after Atlas goes home when Tom's deployment is done. One day Lacy jumped up on my lap but didn't stay very long. They are both younger than Macy was when we got her so maybe they'll slow down and become lap kitties and they get older.
At the shelter we had decided on taking Lacy home. When my wife told them that they said that Lacy and Slim were a bonded pair who came from the same home. They had to stay together. I'm thinking now that they just thought we were suckers and that we would take both which we did. You know they say there's a sucker born every minute. I have never been blessed to common sense and definitely overthink things. It was my wife that said we would take both cats so I trusted her because she has lots of common sense. Having both cats is definitely interesting especially when they both come in the living room. I wanted to mention one other thing about them being a bonded pair. I was afraid that Slim would be mean to her because he is bigger. Is a very long cat and tall and does afraid you would pick on her because she is a little smaller. Guess what though she picks on him. If they are near each other and she doesn't want him there she will hiss at him and smack him. Somebody bought them a banana toy with catnip in it. She would like to would not let him near. She is a bully to him. If they were a bonded pair they were a strange bonded pair. Oh well there ours now and were getting pretty attached to them. Atlas is seemed pretty insecure and is even more glued to my wife when she is home and he was before. He stated me longer at bedtime and he used to because I think he is protecting me from the mean kitties or is afraid that I will give them attention said of him. I have to say I find these animals very entertaining.

New Cats Report

We've had the 2 new cats, Lacy and Slim, for over 2 weeks now. Lacy comes out and spent most of the morning in the living room and then disappears to the evening and my wife comes home. Slim is very shy but he started he could come out more often. My wife said that in the back room where they spend their time she beats up on him when these are too close and want the same toy. In our living room we have a table that is thin and about 4 feet long. This table is near the windows and Lacy has taken over the table. My wife bought a single padded cat bed for this table and now Lacy spends lots of time in it sleeping or looking out the window or hanging over the edge and looking around the living room.
I'm not sure if it's a problem but slim came out today and got up on the table next to her and she started hitting him until he left. They must've done this when they became a pair because she is 6 months older than him. He is bigger than her buddy lets her push him around. Neither cat is really overweight and Slim is not really skinny but he is a very long cat. He often gets up on his back legs and butt and stretches his neck out to look at things. We might need to get more than one cat bed so he has somewhere to go where she doesn't beat him up. Either the cat seems intimidated by Atlas and recovered by them they don't back up. Slim just ignores him and Atlas goes around him. Lacy waits until he started to leave after stiffing her and that she has is at him and swings her paw but I don't think he feels it.
So far neither cat is jumped up on the bed in the mornings to keep me company. After my wife goes to work Atlas come to living room so I don't see much of him. Hopefully the cats will decide to come visit me. I'm just glad for sing their antics and hope they grow to like me and maybe sleep on my lap. Sometimes my wife or son will put Lacy on my lap and she will sit there for 15 minutes or so.
The last hope shelter finally got the 2 cats that we were sort of waiting on. They are part Siamese male and they look just like the 1st cat I had. They are only a year old so I think we're better off with the 3-year-old cat's with one male and one female. The other 2 would make a great pair and I think I would've been happy with them except we found Lacy and Slim 1st. Right now Lacy as been sleeping in the cat bed or a couple of hours. We I wish I could take photos but I have to have other people do it for me. Slim is very hard to get a photo of because he is somewhat restless and never stays in the same place for very long. The other day my wife had to rescue him because he was climbing up between the headboard of our bed and the wall and couldn't quite make it to the top. She word noises and went and looked in all she could see was his head. The Christmas tree went up yesterday and so far neither cat as been a problem. Lacy went and slept underneath it for a while last night. You know how dogs mark their territory. I think at barked their territory way sleeping in it. If they sleep in it it's theirs!

MS and prayers

Suppose I need to mention something about my MS since that is one of the purposes of my blog. I have found that any benefit I got from my 1st infusion of Ocrevus was more related to the steroids I got along with them that were meant to ease reactions to the drug. We discussed steroids with the doctor and they are not a long-term solution. The benefit from them dropped off very quickly and prolonged use leads to many other problems without a real benefit. I get my next infusion early next year. At this point I have very little hope of any restoration but I notice a slowing of my symptoms. So maybe next infusion will help stop the disease progression.

I suppose I should mention prayer. Of course many people are praying for me to get better. There was also a little girl named Evie who received much prayer due to her kidney cancer. Miraculously with the timing she received the transplant organs she needed. Unfortunately the cancer spread to her brain and she had some tumors removed. Not long after that more new tumors showed up in her brain and there was nothing the medical field could do. Little Evie, 4 years old, passed away in October. Part of me feels like "why pray for something". So little of what I pray for actually happens and part of me thinks prayer doesn't count. Course I couldn't be further from the truth because prayer brings us into contact with God. I remember reading once that prayer doesn't change God so much as it changes our attitudes and we learn to accept the effects of living in a sinful world. We lived in a world that cast out the true King and ruler of the world, Jesus. His blood was shed on the hill of Golgotha. We live in a world stained by sin and the end result is death. We are fortunate that God has made a way to become accepted by him that is by the sacrifice of the Lamb of God Jesus. All this being said we need to pray and just because prayers are not answered the way we want does not mean that God doesn't hear

So back to my MS. I find that I sleep a lot more and to be honest I'm glad because it helps me get through the day to sleep more of it. Of course my dream is that I go to sleep sometime and do not wake up here. So far that is not happened. I'm finding I take an afternoon nap almost every day during the workweek. I can sleep up to an hour to an hour and a half and still be able to fall asleep around midnight every night. I go to bed around 930 and watch Amazon prime or things I've recorded on TiVo from my phone. Then when my wife comes to bed she puts on my breathing machine and I switch to reading on my PC. Some nights smile mouse works really good even though I have my nose mask on and some nights I have to do twisting and turning with my head to get it to turn pages. I'm not sure why one night it works flawlessly and the next it's kind of a pain. So far I sleep really good at night except for maybe 2 or 3 nights a month. Not sure why this is but even before MS I had nights that I couldn't sleep so that is not really increased. The difference is that before MS if I couldn't sleep I could get up go to living room. thank you for reading my blog, it really gives me something to do during the day. Thank you for all your prayers and thoughts.

2 New Cats

Yesterday's subject leaves me feeling dirty so I'm switching to something less controversial and lighter. Our 2 new cats Lacy and Slim are providing entertainment for me but have not been very cuddly. Maybe that will come later. Right now Lacy has become brave and likes to look out the windows in the living room. She explores the front of the house but Slim, even though he is bigger, seems much more skittish. He goes from the bedroom then straight into our bedroom dozens of times a day. While I'm in bed reading I can see them out of the corner my eye coming in and then going out. He seems a little restless but today he followed Lacy out to the front of the house. Right now he is on a card table in our entry room. He must've seen a bird because he's up on his back paws and his neck stretched out so he can see better.
I'm glad we got them, I think they will keep me entertained. Lacy might become cuddly but I don't expect her to bond with me like Macy did. Her coloring is so much like Macy though, that when she sits on the kitty table by one window, and as her back to me, I keep thinking it's Macy because her color is so much like Macy's. Of course her face is very different, almost all gray so when she faces me and don't think it's Macy. They're both very beautiful cats and I think they are going to be more active.