My posting plans

I wanted to inform my readers I am going to take a break from posting. Tom leaves in early July and I'm not sure they can count on total quiet until he is gone.
I woke up Sunday as they say "lower than a whales belly". I will share a little bit of why. With this MS seems like it is always one step forward and two steps back. One thing is my breathing machine. When I started using it at night it effec it helped my speech during the day. Now it doesn't. I tried going without it but I had to wake my wife up because I was short of breath. Now my speech during the day is almost impossible for people around me to understand.
The combination of having MS and not moving from paralysis is really screwed up my digestive system. You no longer have an appetite, ever, and I'm losing the ability to taste. I still enjoy eating and my wife the good cook but is getting harder to eat a full meal. Used to look forward to eating but that is getting harder to do.
The trigeminal procedure seemed to work great he immediately. I started decreasing the medication but like everything associated with my disease it's a mixed bag. The decrease of medication from 10 pills down to five last month or so. What I want from five pills down to four the pain has come back in one place. Now I don't know whether to keep it that for pills and live with some pain for a while for go back to five pills. My hope has been to get off medication is the doctor says it messes up the balance of my electrolyte system.
Part of me is glad we have them pets. Lately though I have to say's I become disappointed. A few weeks ago lacy used to sleep on my but since we got Jordan she has stopped doing that because Jordan is to aggressive wanting to sniff her. I no longer get any attention from our pets. Tom dog still shows me some attention and I go to bed or when he gets to sleep with us. When he tries to sleep with us Jordan gets jealous, jumps up on the bed and starts wrestling with them. She's got a lot of puppy in her so I don't get angry at her for mostly just sad.
Am not sure if it would help to have a good cry but that is problematic because I take take a anti-depression bill that is also my anti-anxiety pill. I find I cannot cry because of that bill. Many times wish I could.
I'm going to call off line until Tom leaves. I might try posting when he is out playing golf. But mostly were now I'm probably not going to try. He hasn't left yet I'm still doing sad about missing him with his dog. I have nothing upbeat say and so I probably will to as I was taught that "if you don't have anything good to say don't say anything". Thank you for your concern and prayers. They are my only hope with this stupid disease.