I promised a while back if it is describing the mixture of values I have. After I graduated high school I would sad dove I use whatsoever other to stay out of trouble. I drank a fair amount and was usually obnoxious and I got drunk. My friends kept me out of trouble for the most part. During this time I had a little bit of values I picked up from my friend Mike was really into Indian stuff. I watch the movie "Little big Man" the main character Jack who from one life style to another, which ever way the wind blew him. I felt a kinship to Jack in this regard. I never got into drugs because one time I smoked hashish with my friend Mike and I realize it was either dive into that lifestyle or say out entirely, which is what I did. That life style seem to immersing and I would disappear into a drug world that had one end.
The most endearing character in the movie was the old Indian chief "old Lodge skins". When Jack was taken by the Indians and brought up as one is determination part of getting attention of the old chief. He became like a son to him and referred to him as my son. Jack referred him as grandfather. The bond between them and the old chief speaking English is all thing way endear them to me. As you know Dustin Hoffman is not a big man. The old chief tells him of a brave and past times that was not very big but had a very courageous heart. The old chief told Jack that he was like him and so he called him Little big Man. Probably my favorite scene of the movie old Lodge skins decided it was a good day to die. His idea was all throughout the movie and it was a reminder it have always felt the same way. None of us gets out of here alive. Old Lodge skins referred to their tribe as the "human beings" and viewed their values and is very understanding one and the old she was confused throughout the movie that the white man never seemed to understand this. After many decades old Lodge skins realized that this tribe would be "rubbed out" is white men never stop but it was never going to stop coming. It was after the Army came in and massacred one group of this tribe there were on the reservation promised them by the American government. The blood on America's hands is a whole different subject. In the last scene of the movie old Lodge skins said he did not want to live in a world without "human beings" and decided to climb up to an Indian burial ground and asked his son to go wThe two of them climbed slowly up to the spot where there was a funeral bier prepared. Old Lodge skins does a Indian dance with chants and when he is finished he tells little big man that he will lay down and die. He lays down slowly and is laying there for a while. Then starts to rain with very large drops in with the time of year we know the drops are called. There are large drops and after a few land on old Lodge skins face and he says to little big man am I still here? Little big Man says so patiently "yes grandfather". After more raindrops plopped down the old chief only rises and says I guess is not my day to die. They go back down the hill. Of course you couldn't love old Lodge skins anymore then you then.
So is actually the movie that gave me the idea that we should always be to die because that is the way of all men. I picked up other values they saw in western movies. One of those was that when a Indian became old poor in some way useless to the tribe you would go off by himself to die. I saw great wisdom in this and I find that our society is built differently. Many call Christian values and here's what I see is veryrather strange.
In my case have a very strange noncommon disease. Our health system and value system seem to be built on the idea that you have a disease will either get better or die. There is no physician assisted method of getting out of a chronic disease that may go years for terminal. This is the case I find myself in. One of the reasons lawmakers will not allow physician-assisted methods for people like me that they fear cases they cannot prevent misuse where an elderly person is euthanized so that their wealth can be passed on greedy relatives. So in my case is not an alternative and we must go through the torture of me and my loved ones until something happens to me like Pneumonia, infection or another type of medical problem. In my case I cannot realistically hope for a heart attack or some other sudden way of passing I can aneurysm or stroke. Have a strong heart and I used to have I blood pressure and felt that it had an aneurysm a weak spot in when my brain blood vessels it would've gone off by now. I'm now on a blood pressure medication that brings it down to a safe level. This will bring up my next post about where I've you are the 3 to 4 ways I have of getting out of this world. With the medical system is now we will go broke and news everything which is really much and I will leave behind you just to widow. Thoughts of this film me with great sorrow but there is nothing legal to do. I'm to debilitated do anything on my own that is not even on the table for consideration. I will try follow up later on this and after I'm done with this morbid train of thought will probably only post Bible subjects or animal stories. Thank you again forward to my blog dear one.ith him. Of course little big man said yes grandfather.
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